Life of IDon'tKnowWho

2010-01-04T23:55:00.003+08:00

IM BACK!~~ hahahhaa but i will be gone again LOL. dont feel like blogging these days plus no time somemore! =(( happy new year! =D
its been a year with alot of happenings and i dont knw if i made the correct decisions on those occasions like the recent one, but yeah.. whats the point of ____ if you dont have the ____...

IM BACK!!!~

2009-06-29T16:22:00.002+08:00

hahaha i realized it has been like 2 and a half months since i blogged.... ehhhh but my blog not as rotten compared to yibin and weirong's luh! hahaha

anw... happy birthday to JUNWEI! hahahha omg i wish myself happy birthday, so lame lahhh haha
and todae is the start of school! =D
and it didnt turn out very well.. i met dear mr tan you wee just at the gate while i was about to enter! >.<

tan: ehhh boy, you think your hair long not?
me: errrr i just cut yesterday leh
tan: ehhh boy, you think your hair long not? (obviously he was not listening to me hahah)
me: errr okay, i go cut todae luh
tan: gong jiao wei!! (means talking cock)

then they all started to burst out laughing. hahha i dont udnerstand wats so funny luh

me: ehhh you think you funny ah? you better watch what you talking kay old man! i want you to apologize to me now, dont make me blast you infront of the whole school.
hha then tan immediately begged for my apologies... wahahah! zai rite me! =DDD

okay lahhh, the part in red is bullshit one xD hahha i so polite and respectful de, wont talk back one hahahaha =p

k lahhh i think i super lame, come blog when everybody else mugging hahah! okay i shall go take a shortttttttttttttttttttttt nap first, now the weather so shiok, later wake up see want study not. xDD hahaha

-the deadly silence.

2009-04-12T23:04:00.003+08:00

hey people i realize it has been 22 days since i last blog! =( hahahah but nvr mind, im back! wooots *applause ringing non-stop*

hahah okay well, alot of funny and humorous stuffs happened! but i forget liao hahah! omg my memory failing me sia. fine fine! i shall eat more pig brains to restore! okay lah actually i remember one incident:

at the canteen that faithful day....... me cc eric jasper and zf wanted to exit the tables in this narrow aisle between two tables; but yijie was blocking the way! hahahah and she demanded a ten-dollar passing fee to pass the 'road' hahah then we all started to act like passing her some money. wahhhh then damn funny! after yijie let us pass, zf started sitting infront of yijie and shouted (i really mean shout): twenty dollar! omg and zf expression damn funny lahh!

hahah and as usual,
nicole and eric are warring over who is the trotters (supposingly eric won i think)! hahaha okay lah plus solitare (eric won again; i was the impartial judge hahahah)!
hanseeeng is talking cock and spreading scandals and gossip king!
cc is crapping and scamming people!
yijie is acting very cold!
jasper is still bald!
tracy is gossip queen! (okay lah joking joking!)

haha and the list goes on and on! shall add my description next time! =D

- this is anfield where the title makes way.

2009-03-21T22:39:00.001+08:00

yos! haha i shall update my blog! =D hahahah the part of my last post about me being an active blogger is quite contradicting cuz i realize i haven being blogging for so long! =p haha sorrrrrrrrrrry lah!

actually wanted to blog for a number of occassions, but always have no time! hahaa zzz. then in the end, forget about what i wanted to blog le. sianz

but anw school was always fun with the jokers and cocksters around!! although the heat is starting to become more strong since i dont quite understand everything especially the troublesome chem and maths! omg and i still slept thru it luh! =/ hahaha talking about chem, yesterday practical was omg ownage super funny! xD bob and eric had a phenolphthalein (why do they have to cre8 such a complicated name? i shall call it P) fight! haha damn funny lah, eric poured the P on bob's chair, and bob seated on it unnoticed. omg then there was this wet patch on bob pants that make it look like he just peed on his pants! haha! it started off and both of them were spraying P at each other stuffs thruout the whole chem prac. xD afterwards, bob and eric became paranoid over alkali stuffs since it would turn the P on their uni pink!
han seeeeeeeng: ehhh later i going sneak out sodium hydroxide to spray at your uni.
eric: then i will throw you off the top of this building!

haha! i was like laugh until siao. then got distracted by them lah! my titration was super screwed. haha people took like 4cm3 for the reaction to complete. i was like approaching 40cm3 and the mixture didnt change colour! i realized i nvr put in the P. omg super malu malu malu

on a side note, han sheng's name is offically called han seeeeeeeeeeeeng. isnt it more cool? haha like some damn powerful hokkien gang leader. =D ehhhhhhhhh but i still dont knw whos the real trotters leh. xD haha!

okay to CCA-bowling! haha the training part was super nice as can see lah everyone is gradually improving! =D but the part of carrying the 14pound ball to school is super suck. walao stunt growth luh. omg nationals is like in one month time. hope i can get into the 3 boys team to represent the school.

- this is anfield.

2009-03-03T21:48:00.004+08:00

okay i shall be an active blogger! haha xD

yesterday was a fine day! well at least the aircons in the LTs were not very cold. i was waving frantically with serena's campaigning flag when i have the chance... it was damn cool luh, like national day like that. =P

almost our whole class went to the comp lab to play during break time! omg this shows the class spirit man! was supposed to play bball with granddaughter nicole de! but it rain.... sianz haha next time next time! =D

bowling trg was real fun! i think i got the hang of it alr! nice. hahahah when i was going home, theres this cheeeeenaaaa worker that spit right in front of me! lucky the pool of saliva landed a few cms away from my feet, or else i willllllllllllllll........ haha! its seriously disgusting! wheres the law enforcers when you need them? =/

okay! back to todae! i was feeling abit shagged during the early parts, dont knw why leh... probably because i nvr sleep well! haha wahhhh i pon CHEM TUTORIAL TODAE. omgg actually its quite risky but seriously no point in going. xD i feel bad to ms jin zheng now. =( during GP i felt really paiseh when i rudely interruppted ms wu and jasper convo with a "ehhhh you still want sweet or not?" omg omg omg i dont knw that they were in the midst of talking luh, plus somemore i wanted to prank jasper with a fake sweet. xP

then after school was some PW presentation by the seniors. haha was like poning half of it eating my subway bread outside with eric, chia chiu and jasper. dont knw why chia chiu likes to munch on his chicken wing like a apple! =p nearly got exposed by mr chong, he was saying something like: "eh why your 4 must always go to the toilet together de? " but due to cc and eric's acting (which is good enough to compare with tracEy). we managed to got away! hahahahah

was supposed to have biz club de, but dont knw why dont have. haha so went home with tracEy and hansheng. forgot to say byebye to uncle gerrard! so i ran back to say bye. haha i must have looked stupid luh... but uncle gerrard my good friend leh.. cannot dao de =D then on the bus, gossip gossip gossip all the way back luh! it was damn fun hearing all the scandals in our class. omg i was so ignorant to the surroundings! ididnt realize like so many lah! xD it rained like dogs and cats! anddddddddddddddddddddddddd i got drenched agn >.< sianz

-liverpool next season.

2009-02-27T21:58:00.003+08:00

todae was cross country! grats to granddaughter nicole for getting 4th! omg she is so zai lah! =DD okay anw, it was some 4.8km run, and its quite tiring luh, cause long time nvr train le plus put on weight. i came in 320th position! so lousy luh. =P wah but some of the people really very selfish lah! like suddenly stop in front of you then you will knock into them! arghhh nvm watch out for me next year! top20. hahaha im gonna make the cross-country people lose face wahahahaha

haha after that went to have class lunch at seoul garden! zzz zhen feng pangseh us go some odac. haha he always like got alot of stuffs sia. =/ anw it was damn fun! especially during the games part. played 终极密码 and the punishments are really gross luh. like some raw egg plus ice from the icekachang. omg chantal tio twice! can imagine her having stomaachache now xD lucky i nvr tio any! yeahhhhhhhhh *claps!* haha got one time chia chiu and i went to toilet; then when we came back they alr in cahoots alr. but their acting very good luh, can go mediacorp auditions le, people like tracy! xD

shit man, the stupid smoke smell from the seoul garden like still on my body! =(

p.s. i shouldnt associate han nicole with ____ anymore, haha she like angry le. omg she looks scary when she is serious. =(

-this is anfield.

2009-02-25T19:58:00.003+08:00

hey peoples! im gonna make this blog so damn interesting... haha since nicole said my blog is boring. xD well at least i will give it a try.

haha todae morning as usual, i couldnt wake up on time and had to pay the penalty of the bet- which is a cab! zzz im gonna let weirong treat me to this stupid penalty in the future! arghhh it had been long since i wake up on time luh, which is like 5.30! i always wake up at 6.15am. =/

thought ct was gonna be at ct venues, so made my way there and met up with eric and jesselyn. aha we were wrong! so we acted like some emo kids on the corridor waiting for people to come when everybody was going to the PT. haha! then at PT was some lecture about counterterrorism, though i didnt knw which part of it is abt that topic =p nicole was being very sensitive at the PT luh; when i whispering to eric, then she will think that we are talking abt her >.< hahaha she suggested some secret sharing session in which she told me "she is a.............." omg cant believe it man.

after that was lectures that was super-fast paced like lightning (thor!) haha then i couldnt understand most part of it. so i just stone luh, and stare into space xD felt damn bad during chem tutorial cause i think we were too noisy then ms zheng like damn frustrated like that. =( especially when i came late!

well after school went to computer room to dota! with chia chiu, zhen feng and eric the leaver. omg it was a disaster cause we got OWNED. then there is this cheeeeeeeeeeeeenaaa that was really getting on my nerves. when zhen feng left for cca, he took over........... get pwned a few times and acted like a sore loser, saying: 这个人怎么这么noob?! 真是烂! 害我输! with the trademark 卷舌 essence, omg really wanted to chop off my ears give them luh. zzz worse still, they still act pro behind me commenting about me and chia chiu when i was one-on-oneing chia chiu! cant take it man. =??????

haha went for bizz club session with tracEy (i tot was tracy xD) and seng yew. it was rather fun luh. then after that went home, with seng yew joking all the way! it was entertaining luh! =D omg and the smrt bus 854 ps me, the drive jjust daoed me when i was waving like mad to him in the midst of a thunderstorm. i was left, lonely and devastated. (okay lah abit exaggerated) but i was quite pissed that i chased that particular bus 854 all the way back to yishun xD

wah i talk alot alr, sianz alr. goonna revise liao bye!

-this is anfield.

2009-02-15T01:10:00.003+08:00

hello people! had 2 consecutive days of floorball, and its hardcore. wah damn tired now. my lower body parts all aching luh. zzz

anw on friday was OG BBQ! was fun i guess, just that i couldnt get to eat anything. haha was playing some retarded games like throwing the marshmallow damn high and catching it with the mouth. =) yeah man, organizing OG outing in progress!

people, im updating my list of links to other blogs, so if you want can drop me a note! =D and thinking of changing my dull blog layout, someone help me! =P

omg still have to chiong the piles of hw, must catch up with rest of my classmates! seeya!

- does the deadly silence still exist?

2009-02-11T19:51:00.001+08:00

life is a mystery?

-the deadly silence.

2009-02-03T23:21:00.002+08:00

lets start with the great stuffs first. VJC WAS AND IS GONNA BE SUPER HIGH! =DD wanted to blog yesterday, but seriously no time cause i had to sleep. (sleeping time is so short now!) haha anwthe OGLs were super fun and friendly, and work super hard as well! =D it was damn high in the hall with cheers flying out of no where, initally abit crazy, but well its VJ! the atmosphere was really damn imba, and im sure this is the best orientation i ever had. yeah made new friends along the way, haha looking forward to tmrw! =))

kkay anw, daren poh has did an awesome job to pull the reputation of all chsmen down by verbally shouting the A-Z crap, also known as absurd remarks infront of girls and boys after OG dinner at suntec during forfeiting. just what on earth was he doing? wth he is wearing the cat high pants and saying this kind of crap. and well, i start hearing people saying "aiya, cat high people all like that de lah" "are all cat high people like that?" omg! i felt embarrassed. this is a mixed school, not like last time. you cannot shout things out like that de lah, its not only you; unless you are not from chs. OMG this time the things shouted out by daren was not funny, disgraceful. wahlao eh, my prediction came true, i dont think he is a 17 year old. lol

-the deadly silence.

2009-02-01T21:22:00.002+08:00

yeah!! im alr gonna be a victorian for 2 years!! =DD haha got some weird sms from raffles to indicate that i got rejected. dont knw why leh, i felt quite relieved. actually im alr settled for vjc these 2 days alr; but............ well at least i gave it a try. =)

haha and this year the cut off point for hc and raffles is like partial 2. dont be scammed by them next year! we got scammed this year lol hahaha!

victoria seems a blessing in disguise just like chs 4 years ago. haha vjc has always been my first choice. yeah yeah yeah tmrw orientation le, highly look forward to it =)

- the lively silence? >.<

2009-01-22T23:51:00.002+08:00

hmmmm i cut my hair todae =) with minron. haha finally my hair can stand stand/spike without any wax. =D haha then after that went bball with louis, leo, clifton and wr. wr is damn zai lah, lol if he has the interest, he will be a very good player. awww but he apparently has no interest. =( haha he rejected so many of clifton's shots lah. and everybody is improving! =DD

anw i have decided to make this blog.......
1) happy aka less emo
2) vulgarities-free!

haha my resolutions are in process! although i really find it hard to not be a joker (or whatever you call it) but i will give it a try. =)

-the deadly silence.

2009-01-15T00:34:00.001+08:00

why do i feel so weird lah.
the 'weird' above can also be described as shitty/uneasy/troubled/depressed.

its after the getting of results le. zzz i guess the reason must be so absurd. =/

-the deadly silence.

2009-01-11T20:09:00.002+08:00

omg omg omg i feel so ggggggggg now. like tmrw is the big day! im feeling nervous, i dont want hide it though. xD who dont nervous is either no hope le or confirm 10 A1s dont kind luh xP. anw good luck to all! =D

anw, just now play bowling with B.A.D. and bryan. got owned. lol like totally off form. haha nvm still have a lot of time to train back. hehe

omg omg omg i feel so ggggggggg now. arghhhh i dont knw what will happen to me tmrw. i hope it isnt too bad, i hope i can single digit! =////

-the deadly silence in the hall tmrw.

2009-01-07T19:31:00.002+08:00

just now watch ponya with 4-9 people! =) haha it was averagely nice. anw, after that went to play lan with brandon, wenxuan, melvin, KENNETH CHAN! and jon. haha it was fun! played for quite long lah. and im gonna make raiders(the lan shop) my 2nd home; not because there the rates very cheap, or the surroundings very good, but becuase.............. kkay i shallnt reveal here. perhaps all those that go raiders before will know. xDDDD

anw i have thought of my new year resolutions le! :::

1) support Steven Gerrard no matter what happens to him on 23jan. he will always be my soccer idol.
2) stop getting into trouble with teachers; avoid unnecessary hot soup. =) shall be those guai guai zai.
3) stop being a 'joker'. i dont want to waste time on jokes anymore, and somtimes its gling to others

OMG! olvl results released on 12th jan. wth? time flies. 4-5 more days left to play without worries. =(

-the deadly silence.

2009-01-01T23:48:00.001+08:00

dont knw why, i dont feel that great and happy about todae's new year day compared to previous years. this kind of feeling, so strong; why? ahhh maybe tmrw will be a better day for me.

anw, happy new year to all! =)

-the deadly silence.

2008-12-27T23:31:00.003+08:00

sorrie people, emo post on the way. =/ or rather just some heartfelt stuffs to share. xD

hmmm actually it has perhaps been going on in the hearts of many with the word 29th in their portfolio. erm, how do i start it? it has got all to do with your so-called unchangeable personality. numerous occasions, you emo or just hide yourself in the corner, WITHOUT NO APPARENT REASON. dots. and, the most impt thing is that, after that you can just come back to us like no damn thing happened.

that nite, when it was supposed to be jovial occasion for the whole lot of us to gather for the last time. but wth? your ruined it, completely. caved in is what you call it? shit you, did you ever cared about why we even stayed there in the first place? if we didnt treat you as frend, nobody will give a shit if anything happened to you; like so much things happened. it has always been our fault. we always have to appease you, like what britain and france did to hitler. seeing your post on your own blog about that nite, i grow even more ...... up.

i have enough of it, stop making yourself look all that mighty and great; stop acting hard to get and be a spoiler. you are just a human, just like the rest of us. we dont have to give in to your idiotic personality, or rather, perhaps just me. wts, i admit i once regarded you as my great pal. but now, i just cant make it like nothing has happened. i cant just fake like very good with you, then at that back keep stabbing you. i want to have a stand. this kind of frendship is so fragile, i would rather give it up. whats the point rite?

perhaps this post will signify the end of our frendship, but; i just want to make my point across. you are the one with the problem asshole, and i knw you wont change. do it your way.

-the deadly silence.

2008-12-21T22:39:00.002+08:00

haha im quite lazy to blog these days, perhaps due to the overdose of the 'eat, sleep, play' policy. terrible implications i think, left me really like a wandering soul; i want to be a human! xD

anw, im currently setting some new year resolutions for myself. haha must give it a serious thought though, cuz i mean it this time. =)

on a side note, just now watched the singapore lions vs the vietnam ?????. haha idk of any nicknames of them, and what i can think of are quite...... bad? haha so decided to leave it like this. =P the result was 0-1... although we lost, we put up a good fight lions! =))) and noh alam shah caught my eye. i think he really quite zai. idk how to describe him, but the truth is i like his playing style and fighting spirit! always not giving up and fighting for every ball. aware of some negative stuffs about him, but who cares, he is my learning example from now on. =DD next up on the soccer marathon is arsenal vs liverpl. liverpl will win? we shall see hahahah

-the deadly silence.

2008-11-30T15:00:00.001+08:00

puzzled. emotional turmoil. should i? or should i not? someone help me please. maybe you have alr made it clear to me, but i cant catch it; or maybe is i think too much?

- the deadly silence.

2008-11-21T18:56:00.002+08:00

as promised, im here to blog. well, i also suddenly had the urge to blog as well. but dont expect a happy post, cuz its gonna be another emo and reality check post. =) haha anw, the ugly singaporeans' behaviour on public transport will be posted soon, still innthe midst of collating. xD

first thing, O LEVELS ARE OVER!~ haha i knw its quite lag. but it also leaves us aimless like some wandering ghost. everyday, wake up................... eat like some pig.............. then play like some mad dog. haha, this is perhaps what we wanted when the o's are going on, but now, quite sianz alr. humans are juz so weird, arent they? hahaha

kkay next is my results. haha im sure the results are not out, but a rough estimate. i can alr foresee it........... haha!
English- B3
HCL- B3
Combined Humanities- A2
Pure Geog.- B3
Add. Maths- A2
E. Maths- A1
Physics- A2
Chem- A1
Bio- A2

haha these are all worst case scenario bah. omg, that means my L1R5 is like 11! good game, my single digit dream is quite over le. zzzz reality check done.

these few days, is hardcore physical stuffs. like soccer at 10am which i always arrive sliggghhhhttttllly later. haha quite exhausted le, here pain there ache. maybe i shld start studying for my A levels? better to prepare early mah.

anw............. these few nights, i have always been thinking abt you. my dreams (or nightmares idk), it always revolves around you. why? i shldnt be thinking abt you, i shld be heckcaringly piaing my games and watching tv. arghhhh, i really dont knw. =/

- the deadly silence.

2008-10-10T19:26:00.002+08:00

todae is farewell assembly. one word to surmarise it all- saddened. its supposed to be happy, but the joy is used to attempt to cover up all of our hearts' sorrow. for me personally, it juz came too fast. ill-prepared. i am now forced to part from my teachers.

WHY DO WE ALWAYS CHERISH ONLY AFTER WE LOST IT???!!! i hate myself, for falling into this trap.

always, without failing, think that mdm wong is wasting our time with her chinese lessons. keep on nagging at us, so fan2. great, now we do not have to listen to it anymore. we are free, happy now? zzz juz thinking of how much she has put in to the lessons with the amount of notes. we must be some brainless fools. realizing it now, whats the point? regretting now, whats the point? WHY? everytime sleep in lessons, she knws it. everytime dont pay attention and crap, she knws it. but she nvr reveal her sadness, and i have a part to play in this. and now, its time for us to understand, buts its too late. todae, on stage- tears filled her eyes before we knw it. she cried, she cried! its becuz she treats us her own kids, she 舍不得 us. it struck me, and hard. i couldnt bear to see her cry lah. like she is normally so jian1 qiang2. MDM WONG, SORRY!!! (if you come across my blog =)) you will always remain in my heart.

next is ms chong, we always keep kpkbing her for always koping other people lessons and extending lesson time. but have we tot that it is taking up her time also? mrs anna tan, mr danny tan, mr tan ping hock, mr jeffrey goh, ms lucy fernandez, mrs oh wee ming, mrs goh, mr fernanddez, ms chow. all their sacrifices for US, now then realize, seriously. i can only say sorrie. a very goodbye. sorrie for all the troubles i have caused, becuz of my freaking ignorance.

thank you teachers, for......
1) always being there when we are down
2) stopping us when we are going crazy
3) endless care and concern
4) guiding us along thru this unforgettable period
5) treating us like your own kids

we have to go, its painful but..... i will definitely remember all of you. ="( you will always be this pillar of support.

我真的很舍不得你们

- the deadly silence.

2008-09-20T16:32:00.004+08:00

hurray! scriptcheck is over. haha lol the numerous hours of imba inside the hall is really crazy. it has like some kind of soporific effecct. haha overall for prelim3, some results are quite unexpected; but luckily its not those kind of 'negative' surprise. =P

kkay shall give a review of my results:

1) English- 75 (A1)........................... if plus oral from prelim2, 71 (A2)

2) HCL- 72 (A2)

3) EMaths- 77 (A2)

4) AddMaths - 59 (C5) OMG! i actually pass it >.<>

5) History Elective- 80 SS- 78.................. Combined Humanities- 79 (A1)

6) Physics- 83 (A1)

7) Chemistry- 82 (A1)

8) Biology- 82 (A1)

pure geog marks havent comeback yet lol. yeah so... haha actually geog like not much high hopes >.<

actually i also nvr expect to get A1 for my english =p. plus i nvr expect to pass my addmaths also. woah i think those that fail really need to drop leh, lucky!

wootz L1R5 for prelim3 is most probably 7!!!!! woah oh my, i cant believe it myself. but haha at least i achieved the target set. =) kkay shall go and finish the stupid piles of english work given by mr heng.

- the deadly silence.

2008-09-13T22:09:00.003+08:00

omg!!! first good thing that happen to me these days----- liverpool won manutd 2-1!!! wootz! damn shiok. it could easily have been more. long time nvr see liverpool play this kind of exciting and entertaining football alr. haha was like screaming my head off. =p woah seriously, liverpl can get the title! the new signing riera also quite good, his dribbling and touch is like woah....... hahaha well, im so happy now rofl.

- the deadly silence.

2008-09-12T16:19:00.002+08:00

zzz after a long week of hardcore ongoing exams, i tot i will be able to somehow be satisfied with my results. but sadly to say, my last exam of the week, left me with tears, in the heart. and its addmaths agn. yeah i muz agree that i have not been putting alot of effort to improve on my weakest link. yeah and im letting my maths teacher, mrs tan down. seriously she damn zai. but....... i dont knw. todae, like what the? the questions like cant be solve de. i left like countless questions blank. omg im only approximately 4 weeks away from my o's and.........

zzz im afraid i have to drop add maths. thats the worst nightmare to have, after taking that subject for nearly 2 years le. can i dont drop? woah later they say what: those who fail the paper HAVE to drop add maths. then im a gone case. this hurdle, when am i gonna ever pass it. =(( nono! i dont want addmaths to be my pan jiao shi!

and what mr teo said is really like so true. the teachers are as tired as us, but do we even try to care in the first place? from their faces, the smiles are like so weary.

haiz, i guess miracles dont exist.

- the deadly silence

2008-09-05T23:54:00.002+08:00

hey quite fascinated abt how technology works nowadays. haha like so random, but in truth it owns. muz be going crazy i guess haha! =)

anw, i tihnk '我错过的爱', this phrase i cna finally understand. idk. juz my personal tihnking haha. seemingly, its becoming more like this. shld i even be having this tot at this point of time. but i dont knw, im feeling abit uneasy; abit 可惜. i dont even knw what exactly is this feeling, dont knw how to describe it. so unsure, its uprooting me. feeling distant from you, i can only blame myself; seriously.

argh, mentally exhausted. i shldnt even be thinking of the abovementioned lah. it muz be some random and out-of-sense thinking to some of you. haiz.

- the deadly silence.

2008-09-04T17:17:00.002+08:00

haha i guess those who knw me will see disgusting rashes on my body tmrw. cuz.............. i freaking go use shampoo meant for the HAIR, to wash my body. zzz dont knw what i thinking sia. haha but who knws, it maybe even btr than washing with body lotion. =D lol i feel im giving excuses to pacify myself. =p

somehow, i feel mrs tan and i, the relationship deteriorating. dont knw, juz my personal six sense. she seems to be pissed with whatever i do. like todae, she go scold me and link to other things when i juz spoke ONE sentence to reply to clement's question. ..... argh dont care. i am juz gonna do my part.

things to complete todae:
1) A & E Maths Distinction Tests
2) History Elective at least 1-2 theme
3) Bio CHUNK of notes =p

- the deadly silence.

2008-09-02T09:53:00.003+08:00

yo everybody, haha basically decided to rest a while from my daily 'hectic' mugging to come blog a while.

haha for my mugging part, quite the fruitful bah, i guess at least for ytd. however, fruitful is not equivalent to results. haha... things to work harder for now is, histroy elect! (woah this like havent touch yet xD); amaths! physics! haha if not sure gg de. especially for amaths. lol mrstan say this time muz get A2 for ADDMATHS leh. rofl. well, interesting challenge. =)

yeah and sometimes i seriously hate watching liverpool's matches. what a time waster lah! haha like stay up to 1+am juz to watch a goalless draw. and sometimes a losing match. haha naturally will get abit pissed de. xp as a liverpl fan, sometimes i cannot really figure out what rafa is thinking. playing those weird formations and players out of position. haha then, without gerrard and torres both out injured, its like sure either draw or lose. =(

then ytd's nite, i guess it wasnt a pleasant one. had a long talk with someone, in which the whole convo was so awkward with frequent long pauses. but well, one thing gained from that is that, some things cant be reverse no matter what. yeah, i juz have to accept that i had lost a great friend; someone who i once regarded as great buddy. to a reason idk. but since people wnat to cont like this, juz leave it bah. as much as i will cry and lament over this, he wont care anymore; as much as i will feel ke2 xi1 over this issue, he wont care anymore. i guess this is call si3 bu4 ming2 mu4. well, since he stated his stand so clearly, no point and no use in trying to revert this le. its over.

woah and freaking, ytd i step on my specs. walao, then the specs broke. zzz so have to wear contacts this few days. ahhhh suay. =P

- the deadly silence.

2008-08-28T16:28:00.002+08:00

hooray! the FIRST part of the freaking prelim3 is over! but it was rather not a nice ending to the first part.... cuz i screw up the stupid human geog. crap haha like stun there when i saw the paper. xDD lol guess i have to work alot harder for my physical geog to pull my overall grade up =) haha and higher chinese paper was abit.... how to say erm i dont knw but i found it easy xDD lol i everytime say like that, in the end always flunk de >.<

haha well and juz now at the link from yishun northpt to the mrt station, there are two retards. are they retarded or what? stand in the middle of a very congested walkway there talking, blocking everybody's way in the process becuz they are so damn fat can? dotz seriously no sense of stupity. lol dont they feel abit awkward?

anw, haha the clifton. everytime alone with me then start to ramble some lame stuffs. zzz haha and he actually ask me to help him photocpy the history notes with my very slow photocopy machine. =.=" haha he very helpful rite. xD

- love that i miss.

2008-08-27T14:48:00.002+08:00

haha seems like i have some time. xDD gonna blog abit bah. haha todae hcl was like quite screwed cuz i do the yi lun wen. wth? haha muz be out of my mind to attempt sth so crazy. ss wasnt as screwed as last time but i dont think i can get A1 =( cuz i have no time to finish the conclusion paragraph for my 2nd essay. 3 marks gone. zzzz haha

then sth dman funny happen. xDD as it was raining, then we waiting for taxi. wah wait very long le, finally saw one cab.. lol then the mao jia ji from 4-5 cut our queue. lol then he got what think is called karma. LOL he slip on the road while running towards the cab! xDDD lol like sliding tackle the taxi. dman funny lah ... haha he rocks can? xp

oh yeah ytd, as the whole lot of us went to eat after the prelim. haha i was approached by a man for CHARITY. and you knw what the man was doing? smoking. with tatoos all over him. lol then he said: eh give 2 dollars eh. rofl. woah i dont believe anyone will donate to him lah. xDD haiz, i doubt its really for charity also.

kkay going back to human geog revision le. gogogogo!~ =)

- i really think you, are love that i missed; shld i?

2008-08-26T17:02:00.002+08:00

hmmm todae was the start of prelim3 with english language going underway. not gonna rate it or whatever le. haha cuz i have bad experience with rating. anw, juz feel that my situational abit off track. lol anw wont be blogging until the weekend bah, cuz i wont be coming online ={ haha cant focus. anw tmrw is SS, omg imba! havent finish memorizing eveything, guess i wont be memorizing le bah, juz haha knw the key concepts. =) lol and i cant believe hcl is tmrw as well. lol like nobody will study de lah, poor choice for hcl department, xp

tmrw will be the first hurdle of applying how much you studied. ahhh not gonna screw it up like prelim2 zzzz =) i hope. offline! xD bye

- dreams are free for those that have no mentality to work.

2008-08-23T18:17:00.002+08:00

first of all, my dajie gave birth to a healthy and pretty baby girl on friday! went straight away after school to visit her. haha was and still is so happy. =) like i was with their family since i was 2 months old lor, so i call her my dajie! =DD gratz.

haha it has been an interesting day on friday. as usual i will try to get itnerestings that happened to blog. =DD

yeah and it will be abt clifton's invincible lameness. haha well here it goes.
i happened in the school bookshop after recess that day.....
clifton: eh those packet of sweets that have 'additional fruit juice added' or not?
me: yeah have, it got write tian1 jia1 guo3 zi1, you want buy ah?
clifton, rushing to grab one of the packets: woah nice! i wnat the packet with the tian jia guo zi!
then clifton grabbed excitedly one of the packets and was so happy that his packet was the only one with additional fruit juice (which is obviously not!). >.<" haha then we all burst out into laughter! so funny and lame. well, if you were at the scene, you would be rolling on the floor laughing. xP results guarenteed.

haha anw, on a more serious note, omg! prelim3 in 3 days! lol? one would be really stupid if he isnt even attempting to mug.

- there is no fools, juz lazy genius.

2008-08-21T19:00:00.002+08:00

hmmm todae was oral. erm sorrie i mean english oral communication exams juz to specify. =) haiz it was a day of reckoning. and i think im such a goner. haiz i stumbled so alot. haiz, after like 10 mins, my whole 2 years of practice go to waste. =( lol.

well, i cant believe how i have the nerve to joke with the examiner. xD for eg, when the examiner asked abt what business will i like to take up, i said; "hmmmmm, seriously, i have not think of this question yet.' LOL? haha and i said the during the pic description that the game in it was 'eagles and the young chicks'... dotz i cant imagine lah. well all i can say is that the examiners are all very friendly for my case, in which one of the examiners is actually from npcc! haha =D

haha after that went to mos burger eat with terence and ken. and ken, as usual, made a such a big joke. due to content restricition, i wont blog it here, haha but you can ask me. haha ken seriously damn joker. xD

- no excuses can make up for time lost.

2008-08-20T17:31:00.002+08:00

omg i juz discovered something more shocking, more shocking than clifton becoming serious and kian boon becoming lively. LOL anw, i found out that........... dots my tummy coming out! its not exactly obvious, but you knw, its currently forming alr. shit! oh nos, later i like some flabby pig. zzz i strongly belive this is a result of...

1) popping from my CCA

2) spamming chips and junks while studying

3) sitting too much around the study table

sianz, cannot cannot, juz cannot stand even that slight bulge. ahhh crap shall start exercising my stomach area the muscles. lol woah god save me man.

kkay back to studying but NOT munching chips. lol

- roma isnt build one day.

2008-08-18T20:32:00.002+08:00

haha heylo everyone! <---------- bryan tan! LOL anw i have decided to make my blog more interesting to readers by quoting interesting things that are happening. =))

first of all, last friday something hilarious happened. during closing parade,

siming sir: eh woah your dont need to study for o's level de ah?

ken: ah dont need, i dsa rjc already (you can sense that he wants to get suaned)

siming sir: wah, you dsa using what? guinness world record?

LOL everyone burst out into laughter as everybody knew it was referring to ken's gigantic head that can beat any head size in the world. =DD

yeah haha then todae..... terence told me something. i wrote something regarding the fact that terence like syl*** on his table. then you know what he told me? LOL he said its supposed to be the other way round! lol meaning to say, its her who like him? hmmm interesting. xDD

well, kkay waste quite a bit of time here le, back to studying! =D

- i wish to be with you, forever.

2008-08-10T11:18:00.002+08:00

hmmm wanted to blog a few days ago. but guess i have no chance. cuz i was chionging homework. lol like so unlike me rite? xD

okay well. it was thursday i think. i was quite emoing in class. and what a coincidence. such a thing happened. kkay. the whole thing is like, so dman trivial. juz me and melvin playing abit. its not like a heinous crime rite? zzz then mrs tan tot we having some wrestling match or something? =( dont tell me other class people dont play? (as proclaimed by mrs tan that 4-5 dont >.<) zzz then got scolded, like mad. i whole lesson practically got marked. i put down head for a while. then got stared and shouted at. lol? then i tot its over. baaaaaaaaaaaaaat, its not. then mrs tan called melvin and it to the front. then she ask melvin to carry. lol so i tot i not needed mah. crap. then she asked me go out. yelled at me. >.<" there was one part that i really not happy abt. she said im spoilt. its like what the? like how to say, i can safely tell people that im not spoilt lah. kkay, i have at least that bit of manners. that wtf? she juz spouted out that phrase like its not hurting at all. woah then she asked if im a single child. i felt like shouting SO? seriously. you mean all single childs are ill-bred? lmao. zz then she kept comparing me with melvin. say i what jealous of melvin having good grades. LOL? why must she always like assume? and treat things so seriously. i knw im not as hardworking lah. then after she walked off. she called me down to scold agn. >.< regarding the fact that why arent i sorry. lol. sorry muz say out then considered apologetic meh. and its not im like the people that dont dare to admit mistakes and dont dare to say sorrie one. then once agn, she assumed. say what i think people keep picking one me. I ALSO NVR BLOODY SAY THOSE WORDS LAH. zzz =(

and yeah, the above paragraph its not meant to target mrs tan or something. its juz what i feel. what the hell, she says im spoilt. thats like utter insulting. kkay maybe i really am? yeah and i dont knw, sometimes i feel mrs tan is very good and nice, then sometimes, she like this. alot of kinds of perceptions of her circulating arnd. but generally, i think she is a nice teacher, and zai. but now. haiz i really dont knw. like got one xin jie le. but well, i really wants to say sorrie to mrs tan; but i dont knw why that day i juz cannot say it out. can see mrs tan was really angry, sorrie mrs tan. ='(

well, i guess i juz have to submit my work promptly and not get into any trouble with her anymore. haha i finish EMATHS 2006 le! wootz thats like utterly impossible last time to be ahead of schdule xDDDD left addmaths 2006.

-am i really spoilt?

2008-08-06T19:01:00.003+08:00

haiz, i juz feel awkward in whatever i do. as in like my heart and soul is out. lol. probably this is what you get when agony, frustrations and dejection come in place together. sianz.

did i not contribute? ahhhh i shldnt be thinking of this thing and juz feel happy for the 4 of them. why. ahh dont knw. i juz dont feel justified. this is probably the first time i dont look forward to NDP. but well, it cant be change, can it?

nothing is going well. im crashing. what am i doing? wheres my sense of direction that i previously had?

- give a man a fish, and he will throw it back at you.

2008-08-05T18:01:00.002+08:00

zzz having those mixed emotions these days. probably becuz of they different things that have happened. =(

firstly, i guess its becuz of the service award for ugs. first of all, congratz to ken,bin,bryan and kah hoe for clinching that awards as npcc cadets! nice. but well, im not included. yeah, and you can ask anybody out there that nvr get it, it isnt exactly a nice feeling. yeah or rather, it sucks. okay lah, i can see people that deserve it nvr get lah. dont name people from np, daniel from nair; wenxuan from nland. im sure they have all made their contributions, noble ones i mean. ahhh for our cca, its pathetic. only 2 squadleaders get. LOL? hmmmm what does this mean? ="(

secondly, i see crap people getting DSAed into the top jcs lah. seriously, if they are nice nice people, i will still feel happy for them. but wth? they are like those ah bengs, or those people that dont give a shit abt studies. and there they have a place reserved for them. what logic?

yeah then. todae had a geog lesson with mr talib. he is so damn zai. compared to elaine goh. hes like omg! he makes teaching understandable and is truly zai. i dont how to describe his teachings lah, but you will knw when you attend his lessons. =) too bad he is leaving.

- the ups and downs of life.

2008-08-01T22:42:00.002+08:00

was it a mistake on my part?

zzz i feel so sianz dealing with friendships and maintaining it. i treasure them.

crap sometimes, i really dont knw what to say. sensitive. when you say something, you still have to ponder over if it will hurt that certain guy. some parts of you, i sought of like hate it. but i cant say out to you, cuz you will gl me? everytime people leave me in the stage of jing4 tui4 liang2 nan2.

what can it do? bushuang me? for making a decision? zzz then why not you juz tell me what i shld say to you, to let you feel shuang lah. fuck that.

- true friends always tell the truth?

2008-07-30T23:14:00.002+08:00

hmmm todae had motivational talk by some guy from hatc. some parts really quite motivating and its real. its juz like some freaking weeks away! ahhh though im not slacking, but i am not putting in my full force i guess. well hahahah i guess its time! haha lol then the teachers came to scold us and kpkb. crap they think we like everyday sit there stone? okay maybe there are some idiots out there that are still treating olvl as a joke, but like dont need say until like this mah. diminished some of my fighting spirit can? >.<>

then juz now wait until like 6.30pm for louis to end his peer tutoring. then i realized he is alr at mrt when im in school! x((( haha lol but still managed to go home with him. xD yeah then we talk alot of stuff on our way back. haha some seriously alot of bullshit content x). but it sought of like lighten one's mood. thanks louis! =D i hope he feels the same. haha.

yeah then..... my nite is crazy! zzz #^$*^%*$*@*$$*^ the freaking cats below. zzz is like *cough* at this period of time? lol like everynite have to hear some weird noises. why muz they like choose this sacred period to mate? LOL disturb my silence can. haha abit distracted and unable to concentrate lah xDD.

arghhh no i havent finish my add maths 2004! haha and im still blogging. well well well, bye. =)

- gazing at the stars and wondering where will i land.

2008-07-28T17:49:00.003+08:00

err dont knw what to say, cuz my mind like blank out now when i was abt to blog! lol haha so like virtually forget everything.

oh yah, juz now saw some students from also known as NSK by some people, lol one guy was like threatening to hit the other guy in the face over a girl. >.<" nothing better to do?

anw, no more reason to slack. last and final lap.

- blanked mind from studying.

2008-07-24T18:04:00.003+08:00

well i like to apologize to the discipline teachers, for having such losers as their right hand man. =( cause prefects are losers, so are the councilors. sorry that i have to generalize, but yeah.

well for the prefects, they are such double sided bastards. they are simply cowards. its like wat the? yesterday during recess, i attempted to smuggle food (well this i admit is my fault). but wth? when the sport class people smuggled food and told them that they were smuggling by eating in front of the HEAD PREFECT AND EXCO, they did nothing! and they merely tried to act coward by claiming that: i cannot run faster than them lah, dont care. crap. losers. well what can you expect from the lot of prefects when you have this kind of LEADERS? zzz pissed. some still think its proud being a student leader in cat high. what the shit?

yeah and i becoming more and more dislikeful of you. i juz feel that you and i dont click. you are so serious, talking to you, i still have to act serious (which is damn unlike me). i am sort of, like dont like you now. =( fuck it.

haha thats all for todae, gonna pia my homework le. no time to slack anymore. seeya!

- all i need is you, thats all.

2008-07-23T21:57:00.002+08:00

kkay ytd, was like, end school at 4.30pm, cuz apparently the chem teacher didnt have a sense of time, zzz well.

but what the? i left school at 7pm. zz cuz nvr finish my addmaths 2003, so stayed in school to pia lor, haha at least i have a great sense of accomplishment when i finish it. xD and yeah, i finally felt the feeling of losing contact to the world for a day, cuz ms lucy f confiscated my handphone!~ haha lol i was like trying to sms during class. so yeah, she muz be not concentrating lah. xp sianz. like felt so empty.

and the worst thing is, our bio teacher, mr goh pang us for like 3 weeks!? he going reservice i think, now like the crucial period lah. but no choice, government order. crap and tmrw is OLVL BIO SPA SKILL 3, omg damn qiao3 rite?

then juz found out that, the concept of: a thing can be treated as treasure by some, similarly, it could be seen as trash as well. =) applying the theory, a girl or a boy may be damn beautiful or handsome to some, but ugly to others, cuz different people have different taste! haha (shit why am i thinking of this crap at this point of time?) xDD

things are piling up, and im feeling the heat. if you are not, then there is sth wrong. fyi: 4-5 weeks to prelim3; abt 3 months to the 'highly' anticipated "o"

- theres not point dashing towards the finishing line, it only counts when you cross the line.

2008-07-20T22:47:00.009+08:00

chma. went chma for the first time in my whole life. and it was seriously damn amazing except for some spoilmoods. woah its like juz a little difference from an actual concert. nice work chs! lol its like so rare for me to say cat high rocks rite! xDD

haha anw to the spoilers part.

1) theres this bunch of retards sitting behind me. and i define them as crazies (a bunch of fools with no brains). seriously lah. wth. they think they own the whole bloody concert hall. zzz they there shouting vulgarities, insulting the performers. the freaking crap thing is there are parents and girls! what the? crap. still got one part i remember, got one shitface (sorry i have to use this word) was like commenting so loudly that the performers were lousy. then after that that same guy sung a song he like. my immediate reaction was >.<"? i feel like bursting out in laughter, but i knw i will get beaten up for sure. xPP its like he sings like some cow mooing away, and there he was commenting abt other's singing. this proves the theory of pot calling the kettle black. lol. and the worst thing is, when he was so excited and engrossed in shouting those crap, he like spilled dont knw thousands of saliva droplets on me. zzz arghhh.

2) simple short and sweet- the group vocal winners dont deserve to win at all. those three people from singapore?, is like. lousier compared to the other 2 grps. and bloody crap i saw one of them dui4 zhui3 lah. noobshit.

and apparently, i juz cant figure out how this guy can so easily distant himself away from us. he is like completely dao us now lah. but i can tell you honestly now, that nobody cares and gives a shit abt it anymore lah. you think we still give a damn. what we did before pop is enough. you want to carry on with your this kind of attitude, be my guest. i wont stop you. cuz well well well, this is your 'personality'. rite? seriously, you think our whole freaking screwed life is born to appease you? who are you? god damn emperor? we have like wasted thousand of hours trying to make you this bloody childish 'kind' less angry. i dont knw this time whats the reason, and precisely, it hasnt have a reason everytime. we, or maybe i, dont need a friend that doesnt treat me as one.

you

are

becoming

joke

heart,

***** **** **** ***

- 我愛的人, 她已有了愛人

2008-07-17T19:17:00.002+08:00

yeah so after ytd's general target. i shall give details! wootz! haha are you excited abt seemingly ridiculous targets? xD

well here i go.

L1:

English- A2 Current: B3

Higher Chinese- A2 Current: B4

R5:

Biology- A1 (>80) Current: A1 75

Chemistry- A1 (>80) Current: A1 78

Physics- A1 Current: A2

Social Studies- A1 Current: B3

History Elective- A1 Current: B4

Pure Geog- B3(best if can A2) Current: D7

Add Maths- A2 Current: C5

E Maths- A2 Current: A2

kkay so based on this result, i will get L1R5 8 points. which seems so good to be true rite? xD haha but im not here to talk, im here to dream big and make it happen.

yeah and anw, there are some subjects that are im not putting in enough effort. for instance, both maths and geog. i can tell you nobody will believe that i was very proficient in these 2 subjects. crap. im letting myself down, cuz i have such good teachers, seriously, they put in so much effort lah. then im here trying to waste their efforts by taking things for granted. zzz i make sure i buck up.

-being able to dream abt achieving something is already making yourself halfway there.

2008-07-15T23:11:00.007+08:00

wanted to blog a ytd and the day before, but i guess time didnt permit me to do so. cuz i simply cannot find time? zzz crap. haiz i have no choice. its becoming more of like, if i can have time to come online, i will blog! xD haha thats a promise haha lol =)

kkay so on monday, i saw this accident that consisted of 9 cars? near lentor that part, it was like causing a huge jam there as drivers were caring too much abt what happen to the cars instead of driving, thats why their speeds were reduced from like 80 to 40km/h? lol what a time to slow down speed rite? zzz nearly late becuz of that lah. xDD then i saw some of the people standing beside the cars were like taking a piece of paper and scribbling notes on it while observing their 'damaged' cars. its really funny, haha are they writing down what to buy for 4-d or toto later? lol what contradicting emotions =DD

anw, i feel so zzz nowadays, its not becuz of anything frustrating, its becuz i dont have enough sleep! lol its like... simple torturous. whenever i see those piles of homework that are blocking my view alr, i feel like sleeping; but when i think of how im gonna get scolded by teachers and how im gonna cry when i get my olvl cert when i dont do them, will like suddenly jerk up and like pia pia pia. zzz crap. my life is not supposed to be like this. 96 days to olvl, what to do? cant give up now, and im not gonna give up. i want to be smiling all the way home when i finish my papers.

yeah then last friday i got my report book. quite dulan. crap. i got 31/38 in class. its bullshit. although it may be the best class, but i also dont want to dian4 di3. i want to silence those people that still think they are so damn great by mocking at me, pissing me off by saying that i copied with the mocking eyes. i hate it.

target for prelim3-------- L1R5 <9

- obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your target.

2008-07-11T22:21:00.003+08:00

okay todae was shooting comp finals. we went there with high expectations but we were backed, both dejected and frustrated. maybe it applies only to me particularly, cuz you nvr knw what others are tihnking rite? xDD

but seriously, im not angry with anyone. im serious. whats the point of being pissed off with somebody that doesnt want this kind of thing to happen also? yeah so dont think too much my dear louis! haha xD without any one of us, this team wouldnt be there in the first place. =) what over is over. come on man, we are the national 5th team! there isnt anything bad abt it xD oh yeah, at least we achieve our aim of beating that cocky cyril ting. objective is alr achieved x).

okay but on a more heavier tone?, lol anw, its no point crying over spilled milk. and i get abit frustrated by that. yeah and thats the reason sometimes i get frustrated with myself. why do people (including me) keep lamenting and crying when things get set and cannot be undone? its quite true sometimes lah, juz ask what i told ken and terence before the comp. we wont go far the one, based on the effort we put in. results dont just fall from the sky, one have to earn it. you cant expect your 6A1s to drop from heaven rite? god isnt a charity organization leh.

to add one, if im happy abt the results todae, im deceiving myself. cuz it sucks, and we are capable of so much more. maybe jjuz now i may seem abit pissed, but im juz thinking abt what have we done to reach here, i juz cant force myself to rejoice over the fact that maybe we can get 5th? 6th? 4th? and be able to maybe force myself to think abt where to celebrate later. its no point alr. and todae, 5th position...... is really a gift from heaven cuz we dont deserve it.

- being blessed with talent doesn't necessary give one a right to slacken off over any mode of hardwork.

no title from todae onwards. =P

2008-07-09T16:52:00.002+08:00

haha todae so damn waste time in school. cuz half of the time we were either doing selfstudy or sleeping cuz.... teachers nvr come. lol

anw, todae mr tan went thru our combined humanities results analysis. crap. my results are so dman shitty. juz now i when i juz reach home, i went to find my previous exams comb humanities results. its like total ownage. im not trying to haolian or what. but this is seriously unacceptable. it supposed to let me score, and not let me whine over it. zzz looks like i cant afford to lose grip over any subject even for a minute. and there is this shitass in my class. i shall call him !!. he is so damn gl. freak during lesson i put my homework on the table, then !! came and give me that mocking look, and said: eh you copy whose one? fuck i tell you its damn dulan. okay i admit sometimes i copy, so people cant change? omg dont tell me !! dont knw that olvls is in a few months time? like he so damn zai.

on a lighter note, went home with cliff juz now. and i realize he is such a joker, and he claims that he is a serious person. what a joke xD. let me give a few scenarios;
1) on the cab, i sought of like saw ms chow, so i ask him if he saw. then this is his reply: i saw... yeah but actually i nvr lah. when i saw her, she nvr see me. so i turn my body abit, then i nvr see her le. LOL?
2) on the journey, we were discussing abt how to catch mew. then he was trying to catch a abra. he failed, and when he saw a kadabra, he caught it. so i ask if the ultra ball is more efffective with kadabra and not abra. and you knw what he told me? he animated with actions that the abra is too fast, so its impossible to catch... with the crazy sound effects that made me wanted to spit my bread out.

and this list is not exhaustive. oh my god, next time when he tell you that he is a serious person, please kindly be reminded that he is actually telling a joke. LOL!!! =DDD hahahahahaha

- say all the nasty comments and remarks abt a friend of yours, afterwards, look into a mirror and you will find your friend there.

lol

2008-07-07T17:14:00.002+08:00

sorry people... haha lol i juz realized from DT and fishball that i have been posting my last 2 posts in egyptian or sth? haha sorrie sorrie i think its some bug from my mozilla. lol i hope the problem is solved. =DD

anw, todae went bowling with fishball and DT (in which i got to knw the prob of my blog). haha it was super fun. cliff got owned. he pumped 180 haha! he virtually lost everygame. my highest score is 173 i think... zzz still cant break my record. when is that day gonna come? will it be when im like 90 years old and awaiting death? haha xDD

ahhh 3+ months to olvl. wth? lol like so fast. and i have fallen victim to the mugging devil. serious. i cant believe i actually did homework until 2am ytd. lol? thats like omg... really unbelievable man. anw, no choice. have to pia pia pia le. no joke. =)

-what you do in the present determines what you are in the future.

...

2008-07-04T15:54:00.003+08:00

okay im not gonna talk about my results cuz i juz sucks. lol dman little time left. no time to slack.

juz got a little frustrated and pissed when people, juz keep breaking their promise lah. the soccer team people, wtf? starting like very on like that, zzz then when match come, tell me cant make it. and some i dont even knw the bloody reason. crap you think i like very so damn enthu abt this. everything i settle, juz ask them go bloody raise thier feet to kick the ball, also tell me cant. fuck. dulan leh. if you really cant then say lah, give people false hope for fuck? like that very happy meh? dotz >.<"""

then comes the sad part. todae before i come to school, saw my auntymummy. so i damn surprised, i ask her why she so early like going off alr. then she told me, ber yi passed away after contracting some virus abroad. i was like question marks flying everywhre. in my mind ber yi is like so young. and she was a really nice person. i really treated her as my ber yi lah. then in the end, she pass away. so damn sad, why muz things like this always happen? so i thought that, life is so freaking fragile, unexpected and unpleasant things always happen. and the bloody bad people always dont get affected. haiz, borntoleavethisworld. its so true man.

all in all, rest well ber yi.

- do not wait to strike when the iron is hot; on the other hand, make the iron hot by striking it.

2008-06-30T17:53:00.002+08:00

zzz im still hallucinating about wedding, until i like cant concentrate properly lah. sianz i knw im still so dman young for this; but my mind like, once my eyes close, confirm will have some marriage scene come up de. zzz i think i what? drama ah? >.<

okay i got back some of my prelim 2 results. screwed them. wtf how can i get so low for add maths. i feel damn zzz now. seeing people get so high marks. crap like everything also zzz now lah, except maybe weddings! xDDD lol

and juz now go staffroom, also zzz. met mr teo. LOL and he caught me for hair. haiz how unlucky can i get? lol maybe i shld juz go and sleep my day out. =)

-let me indulge in work and studies so that i can stop thinking of those things.

wedding dinner.

2008-06-28T14:57:00.002+08:00

yesterday went wedding dinner. i think the name is roy and samantha. haha anw, gratz to them and i hope they can be together forever. =) haha although i dont exactly knw them, okay or i dont even knw them xD. my table all weirdos i can say. got typical singaporeans that think that the whole food is for them only, ahhh nvm.

well well well, can say that i was and i am still very envious of them. like so blissful lah. haiz, haha i can see that they are like so en ai. well arghhh i hope my wedding, no matter how grand or small, will be juz damn en ai and blissful. well i guess its still a long way to go, but juz let me dream a while bah xD

o.0 yeah i juz thought of a question: ask yourself, how many of your friends will come to you and feel with you, when your need them, when you need their help/comfort?

2008-06-26T12:03:00.003+08:00

kkay im damn happy that i have solve this crappy thing lah. i really didnt expect us to be like this even for a moment. and i can say im partly at fault for maybe over-reacting. sorry boss, haha hope what dont break us make us stronger. =D

okay and for the otheer guy that is freaking emoing around, my advice is, stop doing that. =) becuz if this goes on for long, you will either realize that the friends around you are all emo and lifeless people or you will have no friends at all. serious. you keep claiming that "i feel left out", wtf? is you yourself that is leaving yourself out. you dont want to join us, is like what the hell lah. okay maybe you have tried, but from my point of view, joining us and emoing there is equivalent to not joining us and leaving yourself out... and i can say i have tried to help you lah. then you give me that fuck reply. seriously damn @#%#%^$^&*^*(*(. if you dont want to help yourself, nobody can. i hope after you read tihs (if you read my blog lah xD), this will give you a wake up call. discover it yourself, and not wait for what manual to live life, thats bullshit lah. zzzz the day that you can stop emoing abt your freaking life that is no different from us is the day that you will open up to us. you think your life sucks, you think ours rock? you think you dont knw how to live life, you think we nvr experience failures and setbacks also?

- what you do now determines what you will be in the future.

bball trg

2008-06-23T18:44:00.002+08:00

wow todae damn hardcore. play from 10 to like 5. wtf? hahaha i think got sunburnt and cramps from that lah. xD muz own the area 4 games day

kkay damn shuang that others have to go school and we can slack! haha xD but i damn bu shuang abt one thing- i can alr foresee myself getting screwed by my parents when i get back my results. they alr hinted me. zzzz

i cant describe how much i like you now. im falling into the deap sea of love, and im gonna drown... but i dont want to be saved. xDDDD haha!

- less contact, less friction, less pain.

birthday.

2008-06-20T21:02:00.002+08:00

this is the first time in my whole life that i isnt exactly very excited abt my birthday. cuz i knw theres still papers that will screw me up. and it did. add maths paper is like alien language to me, so i dont think i can even get 70/100. yeah crap.

but is really REALLY very happy abt the messages that my friends left me. it is really motivating lah, haha.
last year was a green colour one, this year it is a orange one. =DD with my cute little picture in it! haha xD love it, thanks! =DDDDDDDDDDDD

o.0 yeah, i have decided not to use time, or rather, waste time to be more precise, on this lame thing anymore. i rather not elaborate, and i rather say, " oh nothing has happened" to others, cuz its no point being angry. cuz the kind of hurting feeling caused is enough, and i will try to refrain from being sad and depressed over something that people couldnt care less abt; something that people treat it as a joke.

- i wish for eternity, in the love we share now.

2008-06-18T19:24:00.002+08:00

i juz realized, afteer taking like 6 papers, its easier to count how many papers i nvr screw. cuz its a big fat zero. screw all the papers up, either becuz i have no time, or careless, then my precious marks fly away.

the feeling of studying so hard for it, then you face an imminent screw-up marks is really fuck. prelims is meant to boost your ego and confidence? fuck off. study so hard for what? you will get the same marks as those that nvr study, or even less marks than them? wtf is this? so this is what define fairness.

juz to tell you, if you think you have never been a chairman, or rather, OUR chairman before, then i shldnt even be standing there as a NCO in the first place. so stop saying this fucking lame concept that piss me off. cuz its really fucking fuck to see the leader that we depend on at times saying this.

- i need you now, i miss you so much.

bowling comp.

2008-06-15T16:00:00.002+08:00

hmmm gonna talk abt friday. which was the bowling comp! =DD

okay early in the morning. supposed to meet at 7.45am. haiz, then as usual, the very small size yibin came at like 8.15 and keep claiming that he wasn't late. >.< haha but nvr mind lah. then got a little pissed/bushuang with the cyril or whatever you spell it. according to reliable sources also known as ken foo, he said their team confirm win us, confirm 1st. lol like challenging us sia. its still okay if they are the 1st in prelims, the problem is we are the 1st! haha sorry if it sounds abit haolian here. xDD

then reach OCC bowling alley to wait and stone. woah the feeling of being in the lanes, waiting for the commencement of the first game is really very stressful. looking at other teams all staring at us. haha so i cannot take it, went up to the supporters area to relax abit with the sec2 supporters, in which i hurriedly did a survey in the position of a bad kid. haha =DD

kkay 1st game started. not gonna blog abt the in between processes. cuz eh if not very long. haha but in general very nervous throughout. cuz apparently my team wasnt really doing very well. in which we lost the first game to RI. got some part dman funny, the cyril or whatever you call it bowled a strike. but it turned out to be a fault or sth, then not counted! LOL joker sia. kkay so 1st game i bowled 145, second game i bowled 165. hmm not bad lah. =D woah then after we finish, RI that team havent finish, so we crowded over to see lor. the last bowler muz be dman stressed cuz we all like staring at him. haha in the end, we won! wootz.

prize ceremony, i can tell you the differences between cat high or even area4 and HCI is dman big. people guess of honour some big guy. ours mr azman ( for CV lah ) okay im not saying mr azman is not big or sth, but...... then their refreshments is some grand buffet. ours is buns. >.< lastly, their prizes like so alot. fyi, i collected 4 trophies. the individuals, team individual, team trophy, and challenge shield. like everything also ahve prize lah. lol damn envious sia xDD

to sum up, personally, i got 5th for individuals and a team individual trophy. the team trophy will be put in store. haha then im gonna bring the gigantic challenge shield to mr goh on monday, lol gonna like attract attention>.<

then after that agreed to meet at 5pm for basketball. so i went home to study while they went wr house to MUG. haha yeah then att around 5.10pm, there was only 4 persons there. so we called lor, and everytime we called, they say 5 more mins. in the end, we abit pissed so we started playing ourselves. but all in all, it was damn nice. its been long since we played like this, and i really wonder, will this be the last time? ='( haha

kkay last but not least, i want to dedicate this bowling comp success to you! =D nothing is possible without you now. =)

- feelings of a toddler, naive of the whole menace and mean world.

its for you

2008-06-12T09:40:00.002+08:00

heylo everyone! <----------------- sorry i copied this phrase from bryan tan yi pin. haha lol

anw, i want to dedicate this post to you. haha the special one.
hmmm dont knw how to start leh, juz want to say certain things:

eheh this few years different things occurring at different time muz have confused you alot, making you wonder what is your future and goals. juz telling you that once you have set your mind on a specific target, juz keeping going and running towards it; dont look back cause i have already taken care of it. (haha!) remember that its you who told me not give up de? haha so you muz show me by example mah! dont eva give up k? hmmm its almost one year since you sent me that meaningful card. and i felt really bad last year not to give you the surprise that i intended.. haiz sorry. haha but i bet you didnt knw lah! xD you are one of the forces that is driving me towards my goal. really. haha so we shall jiayou together! =DD

i hope it really helps you.. haha im feeling so helpless lah, not being able to help you. sorry, i failed even as a simple friend. =(

- the marginal line between friendship and love.

haha well.

2008-06-10T19:18:00.003+08:00

well well well, since everybody says im emoing or my posts are all emo. i shall post a happy post here! and seriously its not emo lah, its self-relfecting. =)

haha wootz im so excited that prelim2 is drawing near. hmmm 5-6 more days to be exact. lol kkay maybe im have already accepted the fact that im gonna get owned agn, by the hardcore muggers agn.

huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh?

haha basically that sums up my mind's thoughts when im studying. XD

anw im gonna analyze my progress for each different subject:
1) HCL- oh my i juz realize that this is a subject until im blogging this post... haha so errrr
2) EL- lol basically english prelim2 is over le so yeah screwed.
3) SS- hmmm not bad lah. finish revising the whole syllabus le. halfway thru the essays!
4) History Elect- ehh quite good lah. finish all basic stuffs le. in the midst of making notes for each essay!
5) PURE geog- haha lol, errr basically the geog teacher ask us to study on our own. even the basic techniques of answering certain questions i also gong gong de.
6) Addmaths & Emaths- woah i am juz in the midst of paper 1998 for add maths. lol haha havent even finish all the topics in the syllabus. major contributor of my 'huhs'
7) Chem- syllabus almost done, but havent quite started on practising yet.
8) Bio- hmmm the most logical subject bah. easy to comprehend. syllabus finished. woring on answering technques.
9) Physics- woah alot of formulas to remember! some parts quite confusing. muz start practising le!

haha so this sums up my work progress. please note that i included alot of hahas and lols in this post. so this shldnt be a emo post!

- the competition between determination and distractions

did i do the right thing?

2008-06-07T15:57:00.003+08:00

hmmm 2 nite ago i did something.. i tihnk its for the good of both of us.

i guess i will or may regret this that action in the future, but im pretty sure that i did the right thing as for now. i juz feel that, seriously, its no point carrying on the friendship if i cant treat you or maybe you both as a real friend of mine.

some people may think that one should increase their number of friends, regardless of whether you really knw that friend or not. they juz want to widen their so called social network, but i think its quite wrong lah. whats the point of having friends when you original intention is juz to have vaguely known friends. i dont want to be these kind of people. (AND IM SERIOUSLY NOT REFERRING TO ANYONE)

its hard be normal friends like this. maybe my surroundings and impressions have caused me to become making this action. i know im being heartless, cold-blooded in some sense. hmmm juz as you have said. im a bad guy, juz continue thinking that im one. really.

if a bear bear or whatever you call it is what you want, and it will really ease the hurt you are feeling, im more than willing to buy you the bear bear, not juz one. sorry that i have to use a harsh tone against you, if not, this thing will nvr end. sorry i juz cant be tht fake to be normal with you.

as much as i wish i can treat you normally, i knw i cant. at least for now.

sorry. really sorry.

- is sorry really a cure?

its missing

2008-06-06T21:41:00.002+08:00

im missing. and its missing from my life.

the times when we would celebrate like some crazy dogs after scoring a goal.
the times when we would quarrel over where to eat and settling down at KFC in the end.
the times when we would vent our frustration together.
the times when we would get hounded and scolded by boss.
the times when we would get together and ready for parades.
the times when we would have conflicts and resolve it sooner or later.
the times when we would laugh at each other stupidity.
the times when we would stay till late nites over matters.
the times when we would get pumped together.
the times when we would cry together.

this list is not exhaustive. theres jjuz so many of it.
i miss it. i miss you, 29th batch.

-the line between hero and villian

我是个败类

2008-06-04T22:48:00.002+08:00

todae... juz felt so depressed. okay i knw i have been depressing these days. i suddenly knw why people will attempt to commit suicide le

early in the morning, slept like a pig to 10am. then my house phone got spammed. both my parents ask me why i nvr go remedial, lol. this kind of thing, i also nvr intentionally go pon. the schdule there put remdial for 4-5 and 4-10 lah.. zzz then call my parents... wtf? told my father that my maths cant make it or sth. zzz crap. what a great ego booster.

kkay then went inside audi. talk to kb abit. he said a phrase that spark me:败类!.. i begin to ponder. am i really one? coming late to remedial, okay maybe i really deserve this. but it is too sudden to me i tihnk.

bowling comp, tmrw going to train. ken told me he cant go training tmrw cuz he has study grp. then yesterday he actually pon study to go library mug with people like louis lah. obviously i will be pissed abit lah. after a while, in his msg, he told me: okay lah, i going back to focus grp.. i belong there. the home of the losers. kkay, then i feel abit guilty, abit hearfelt that i might have hurt his ego or sth. i persuaded him to go back library with them. cuz library is definitely a better environment to study. seriously. then i got to learn that he was saying im something like xu wei in chinese. meaning very fake.

juz felt quite hurt in some sense. he is truly my very very good friend... i really care. and i get this in reply.
am i really a 败类?

sorry for the emoness. juz felt quite...........

-我是个败类

breaking

2008-06-03T14:50:00.002+08:00

the after effects of pop. its abt 4 days from now le. but, whenever i settle down, i ponder abt the times when we were together. when in sch, looking at the plaza, memories start to churn out. haiz, when cna i get over this thing?

Cadet Inspector?
Cadet Inspector?
Cadet Inspector?
Cadet Inspector?
Cadet Inspector?
YES OR NO?
i guess its time to start thinking and make a decision fast.

- time and tide wait for no man

no.

2008-06-02T15:02:00.002+08:00

feeling really down. i cant seem to get over it. it juz came so very fast. im left standing there, unable to react at all.

i juz cant say no to not leaving.
these days i can feel that everybody is sad, everyone is beginning to think of the times in store. we are lost now without it.

i have been thinking of this particular phrase, please correct me if i shldnt be thinking of this:
"Cadet Inspector Lim Jun Wei"
wont it be great?

-people only start cherishing after losing precious things.

pop.

2008-06-01T11:47:00.002+08:00

100th post! what a way to celebrate man. sorry for the late update. cuz i slept till now, i really think i can take over yibin as the number one pig le. =D

let me recall. 30th may is pop lor. at first had SS remedial, couldnt exactly concentrate cuz... ahh dont knw why also. then went for parade rehearsal lor. was very pissed of by christopher karim, and yeah he is such a.... idiot in some sense, going for great grandfather or sth the birthday, what the hell? told him to inform us early, and this is what we get, nvm forget it. he is such a loser. serious.

then during the rehearsals, the skies were gloomy. and i really sianz becuz of this. then had some headache and the part above my left eye was painful. yeah! then during the actual parade it was sunny! abit too sunny though. haha but it was our very last parade! i can see all eyes were on us. then hand in squadfile. it was really sad and heartbreaking for me. okay i admit i was holding back my emotions= tears. i was abit how to say, my grip on the squadfile was tight at first, but i guess i had to let go. as i approach my goh, i force a smile. i loosen my grip as i gave the file to him. woah really very sad.

then fall in for fancy drill. shouted my lungs out in the unit cheer part and thank the sirs and mdms sincerely. when i threw my beret, i knw instantly, thats its really the end. then took photos lor. used smiles to cover up my sadness.

then went home to bath, dress up abit. and wore my very proud squad jersey to sch. this time the 30th batch seem very prepared, they locked all the doors to the audi lor. haha found no way to go into the audi. then finally its time to go in, we queued up in numerical order. so i was 3rd. the concert was relatively fun. except maybe the games quite de traditional in some sense.i 1st guy to tio the 1st game. lol was musical chair. then i 1st round lost le. zzz then must drink some weird drink. haha lucky nvr get stomachache. then when the sec2s singing until some part, i also forget why. i talking to potato, suddenly the whole 29th batch ask me go up. okay lor haha so went up and sing jie kou. upon the end, they gave me an adidas soccer boots and a key chain for my love one.>.< haha but wnyway thnaks 31st batch! =D love them.

during the concert, the whole 31st batch they all shouted some random name lah. lol haiz they shldnt have. LOL at the end, went up to take my plaque, it wrote: S/Sgt Lim Jun Wei SEC2DI. touching. then concert end went to eat dinner at the canteen, gave 31st batch some pingpong balls that they will understand the real hidden message when they combine them together. its exactly 30 with words. so yeah after clear store, louis and i went to listen to ruijie they all debrief my squad. made me remember that time my 1st time talking to 31st batch. its fast, isnt it.

this para is dedicated to 31st batch:
thank you for everything, in the process of teaching you all, i also learnt and benefited from it; the various skills. i am sorry if i have not been the greatest and best di, but i want you all to continue to learn. we 3 may not be there physically anymore, but we will always be there, mentally. jiayou, one more year and its your turn to lead the unit. i knw you all are capable enough. its sad, but we have to go. =)

to my dearest 29th batch, 3.5 years together. from 27, we have become 20. okay maybe eliminating those that distant themselves from us, left maybe 18? all the hardship we went through together, all the conflicts we had, i guess it had made us stronger? the memories, the times we had together in the unit, i will never forget. its always sad to let go, to leave this unit after so long, but its for the greater good isnt it? those RT times together, i knw it will all be gone. but maybe we can ask boss, to organize sometimes? jiayou 29th batch, i will too. we may not have left a great name, but we have certainly been the best in terms of memories. =)

woah really cannot take it, ytd in the nite, i cried one time when i woke up to go toilet. i cried juz now when i saw the plaque; the uniform etc. its juz too hard to let go isnt it? how many more times i am gonna cry? i dont knw it myself. i really hope time can heal whatever wound. my heart is breaking up into pieces. knowing that we are gonna go different ways, not going out together anymore. i juz feel like crying.

- the power of memories.

24hrs later

2008-05-29T16:11:00.002+08:00

24hrs later,
its gonna be an ending of the 29th batch, officially.
i cant take it.
many people told me to juz learn to let go, but its not so easy, especially if you are damn bonded with your own squad. its really fast.

this is what gonna happen tmrw;
1) people change their attitudes towards you, cause you are not influential anymore
2) people stop calling you SIR, though i wish they will continue.
3) ccaless
4) my squad is gonna go different ways

i really hope the above are not true. i dont want it to happen. but i guess theres never a no-ending banquet.

i will miss you 31st batch
i will miss you my squad, 29th batch
i will miss you chsnpcc
for you are the people that shape the way i am todae.

- Once a SIR, Always a SIR

el oral tmrw.

2008-05-28T21:29:00.003+08:00

lol short post here, tmrw is el oral, and i have done nothing to sort of like mug for it. so i tihnk im screwed. haha then todae was .22 shooting comps, shoot 144 and i nearly got disfigured, lol i muz complain.! =DDDDD

- no quotes for todae.

competitions

2008-05-27T22:32:00.002+08:00

juz had bowling comp on monday. hehehe though i know alot of details, i will not reveal it, muz be more suspicious. but it was VERY VERY surprising, as in the results. haha =DD

then tmrw is shooting comp, last year i 30th. this year, i wanna own. i mean it. i will do my best, trust me. wish me good luck bah. =)

seriously, there is so many description of you:
1) childish
2) bastard
3) dont knw how to admit faults
4) coward
5) asshole
i cant believe im the one saying this lah, thinking of you makes my blood boil these days. you are juz trying to spoil our perfect ending. dont you think, you are a snobbish piece of crap, please, its your fault also. dont make it look as if, everytimes its the others fault. you juz dont knw how to say sorry isnt it?

POP is the last straw.

- people are afraid of losing what they get, they do not realize, that being afraid of losing makes them lose even more.

what a joke.

2008-05-24T22:16:00.002+08:00

this is seriously a joke. or shall i say, i hope its a joke.

1 week from POP. this is what happened.
i really dont understand
i really dont understand
i really dont understand
i really dont understand
i really dont understand

please enlighten me. so this is the pleasant and dramatic ending we are asking for?

ytd. the gastric was miserable. but my mind was in a more miserable state. first time had gastric. puke out some greenish stuff. zzzz if all my suffering is enough for you to come back to us, im more than willing to do it. i stayed for 4 hrs when we could all be enjoying our last dinner together. and you freaking juz stone there. the 4 hrs of stay meant that i nvr eaten anything for 12 hours. its terrible.

but i can really see the bond that we have. i can see so many people caring for me ytd, worried abt my gastric lah... seriously, you all are the best people i would ever wish to have.

countdown to pop: 6 days

- this is more dramatic than any drama.

im a fool.

2008-05-22T19:23:00.002+08:00

if you are a person that cannot stand vulgarities, you can click on the X button at the top right hand corner of your screen NOW.

okay i shall continue. todae was a lousy day for me. i juz felt so frustrated for the whole day.

wasnt exactly feeling very okay alr in the morning, cuz my throat damn pain. my head damn pain. but nvr mind, i still can take it.

fuck then recess came. what the hell. they reading some of the forms submitted by the cadets. then suddenly i heard one phrase: " your drills very zai meh? then why you cannot get 1st class?" WHAT THE FUCK? i dont care who said it lah.

here i am trying very hard to forget the whole shit. there they are trying to ensure that i dont forget. fine lah, basket im lousy can? im not fit to be DI lah. arghhh i shld have knew it long ago, this kind of thing will surely happen de.

if you think 1st class is no big deal, im telling you now that it meant a big deal to me.
if you think i have gotten over it, im juz putting a false front.
if you think i am not fit to be a DI, juz feedback to upstairs and strip me.
if you think its juz a small minor thing, you are so damn fucking wrong.

fine fine fine, no 1st class... im a lousy crap. happy? shiok?
after you are done being happy and shiok over the that fact, fuck off. seriously, juz fuck off.

- the feeling of being pushed to hell.

sorry for the lack of update.

2008-05-18T18:11:00.002+08:00

heylo. gonna leave my 100th post for POP! =D

wootz and guess what, im down with fever. and im blogging! haha can see my passion for blogging rite? haha missed my .22 revolver trg becuz of this. lol

juz saw chsnpcc website. felt like a fool- when the hell did zhengqian get selected for the what overseas trip? what the? .... i bet none of the squadleaders know of this lah? maybe even the chairman also? crap utter disrespected, at least have the courtesy to inform us beforehand even if you dont want to discuss with us. yeah yeah maybe we are nothing afterall, right from the start.

highly anticipating the class between 28th batch and 29th batch.
here are the confirmed team:
1) Lim Jun Wei
2) Terence Lim
3) Clifton Tan
4) Benjamin Lee
5) Peh Ming Hao
6) Seah YiBin
7) Jason Quek
8) Wong Yong Jie

then the ken and leonard i also dont knw them haha lol. they are noncommital yet.

the tactics and formation will be revealed soon. it will be 7v7, with or without keeper included.

- give a man a fish; you have fed him for a day. teach a man to fish; you have fed him for a lifetime.

NO TITLE.

2008-05-08T06:13:00.004+08:00

give up trying to name a title for each post le... haha cause really no ideas liao.

these few days were freaking pissed off at times and freaking happy at other times too!.... there is this guy from sec2 that is boiling me off... like damn irrcorrigible... why do we have to work so hard for someone that dont even care... i wasted my time trying to talk some senses into his head. all he knows is to give me empty promises like promising to bring his boots to me HIMSELF the next day... he never lah (obviously) lol. 'i deliberately want to skip it'... this was what that guy told me.. is like what the? freaking irresponsible; freaking disrespectful; bloody waste of my time. come on lah... we are doing this for you leh! if you dont want to change, we cant change... you shall juz remain like this forever. you think everybody will care so much like us?

okay then ytd played soccer like the whole day. was quite pleasing. scored 3 and set up 2 assists. got one time damn funny. i told yibin that i damn tired le... legs gonna cramp soon.. not gonna run for a while le... lol and guess what happen? hahaha terence pointed to a spot and ask me to run before crossing the ball to me... haha the worst part is.. lol i actually dribbled past 5 defenders.. haha not trying haolian or what.. i dont knw how i do it also.. hehe. i really think jasper tan jian ming is my curse lor. haha everytime played with him sure got something happened between he and i. lol ytd i dash past him then the next thing that happened was i got sliding tackled. it was such a awkward ankle that i nearly broke my leg. luckily nvr. juz landed painfully on my butt lol. haha dman pain now. zzz like the feeling of cramping everytime i walk.. lol

things really dont go 29th batch, isnt it?
1) 28th Batch POP rain..
2) 1st Muster Parade rain...
3) NPCC Day Parade rain....!
what the? seems like we have a great affinty with rain. =/

(okay this was what i wanted to type early in the morning at 5.30am until my mom came nagging at me to go to school)

kkay more abt today. somehow, todae was really a zombie day for me. i was brain dead for most of the lessons. struggling hard to pull my eyelids apart. it sucks, the feeling sucks.

yeah then after school had mock add maths paper 2 aka stoning session for me. its really gg. im a goner. i like 6 whole qns dont know how to do! fish! really sorry to mrs tan.... maybe i was really not paying enough attention during class. sorry. i need help in maths! =(((((

- what is the difference between a leader and a boss.?

meaning.

2008-05-04T17:02:00.004+08:00

juz now was busy doing homework... while listening to my mp4. then realize in details that this song fits perfectly what we are thinking rite now... its like so real. okay the song is Graduation (friends forever) Song by Vitamin C... let me show you the lyrics, the bold and italic parts are the thoughts we are feeling.

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of the night in June
I Didn't know much of love, but it came too soon
And There was me and you, and then it got real blue
Stay at home talkin' on the telephone and
We would get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

Chorus:
As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, from whatever
We will still be, friends forever

So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money
When we look back now, will that joke still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

Repeat chorus

La, la, la, la; yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la, we will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there? Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

Repeat chorus x3

haiz.. feeling damn depressed now.

- often, people always get jealous of polar bears, becuz they can enjoy snow.. but they nvr realize that is the only thing polar bears have.

trg

2008-05-03T17:01:00.003+08:00

heylo everyone<------ BRYAN TAN. lol i know it sounds like fishball head, but who cares xD

yeah so basically had trg yesterday, wanted to clear their doubts for uniform inspection... but it turned out to be less fruitful as i tot... cuz people were listening without copying anything, as if they have photographic memory. it left me, both pissed and freaking sad. maybe they are really signalling to me that its really time for me to go, im juz gonna be no shit to them. was really sad but i didnt show it. i put that smile on my face. cuz a leader shouldnt be emo, even if you are not treated like one. =) nvm.. 28 days more. what a joke am i becoming? maybe shitty crap is the word used to describe me now..... they are telling me they dont need me anymore.

as someone told me, i have been very less sadistic as compared to the time when i took them as IC. i didnt want sec2 life for the cadets to be hell. it shldnt be those sadistic trg that forces people to quit... thats not i want... but things are proving to me tt im failing my experiment.. sometimes you juz cannot be good. some times you juz cannot close one eye.. people often say, whats the point of picking on tiny little details? so i juz close my eyes, sometimes both eyes shut... i am willing to, if things get better, but things like forgetting to bring your uniform parts for nearly like 3 months is really unacceptable... keeping an eye close doesnt mean we are unaware.. =( but for god sake, who cares abt what the shit am i tlaking rite now, they are so oblivious.. they simply think its a joke, dont they?

- seemingly realizing, life is meaningless without you now

Haircheck.

2008-05-01T18:22:00.002+08:00

monday was haircheck... and apparently i passed.... its not becuz of some bribery or what k? its purely becuz my hair is like damn freaking short. i dont understand whhy people are SO amazed by me passing lah, its damn normal can?i went to cut my hair then people say i nvr cut at all... sometimes you need a little tactic though, for example, how you face the teacher when you hair is checked xD

o.0 yeah, i will like to let out a warning:
DONT EVER MEDDLE WITH MY HAIR
cuz i get freaking pissed when people mess up my hair, its not becuz it doesnt look good, its abt the feeling that is so damn uncomfortable. =(

hmmm these days got banned from comp becuz of one stupid reason... zzz dont wish to say cuz its really retarded that you will laugh at me.. =/ lol yeah so rarely update these days.. unless i really got something special to say =D haha anyway tmrw is npcc day rehearsal.. yeah! have chance to execute drill cane drills so happy lor =) lol then the bryan go ask me polish up my........ erm yeah sensored lol.... like what for? haha nvm lah see my mood first xD

o.o yeah yesterday went some sc centre lol... they took away the mirror maze.. crap thats like the highlight of the whole centre lah! =( zzz then terence tried to act like a monkey by hanging on to a bar that was less than 1 metre high and got himself injured lol haha. then i tot that the fake tv screen could be adjusted, so i went to press the button... which was fake lol super retarded xD

zzz still have chinese compo to do... muz concetrate le bye! =D

- i wish i could say i like you

popping soon..

2008-04-25T20:24:00.002+08:00

heylo everyone... todae was a very fruitful but tiring day for me... today had emo talk with virtually the whole squad. it was really fruitful, cuz we juz blurted out what we are not happy abt. it was really emotional, with alot of people breaking down, i nearly broke too, but i somehow held back. hope this session really brings us back together as one, and not be break apart with 1 month left to go. we come as one, we leave as one... dont wish to elaborate abt the details of the talk, cuz its supposed to be private.

people's perception: a zai or legendary squad is about being tip-top in events you organize, for example, xity venture or whatever shit... but for me, the most impt thing a zai squad shld have, is squad unity... no matter how screwed our planning of events are, no matter how screwed are we in others minds, at least we will be able to brave thru anything. thats what we were all time trying to achieve, arent we? people may say we anti-social, but thats us, we do things together.

didnt add in alot of things, cuz i think the mood is not right anymore. i juz want to say that, its normal tt people suan.. it the same to me.. people always call me bugs bunny or sth... i juz simply laugh it off.. i dont want to take offence, i dont want to emo becuz of that, cuz it will hurt our friendships, in the first place, they didnt mean any harm on purpose. at first, i cant take it. but after these few years, i feel its nothing compared to the friendship we have, if everytime talk, also muz be very serious, then life will suck completely. i have learnt to see and take things openly le, i hope it applies to you also. juz look on the bright side of life and everything will be fine.

yeah then its abt the first class. potato said that first class means no shit, it cant give you a living. but i feel, as DI with the passion area being drills, it means a great deal. hearing him say tt, it hurts a great deal. i may appear to be fine on the surface, but in my heart, its a big hole leaking, and its not stopping. i need time. for a DI to get over this, it needs loads. in front of you all, i may appear to get over it le, but i can guarantee one thing, its not that easy, i juz don't want you'all to see me emoing over that. i dont want to spoil the mood... as i said, i juz cant emo in front of you'all. its juz not me, is it? my impression is cheerful and happy, and i will not change it.

haha you may not think that im not that kind of person tt think alot, but... when im alone, i tihnk a lot. i reflect, on my own actions. yeah and i meant what i said juz now, if god wants me to sacrifice my 1st class for our frendships, i will do so without hesitation.. lol but i guess i have no right to say these stuffs now, cuz i have not even manage to attain the badge.

sorry for my this super long and emo post... but this is the only way to write i feel now.

-the ending means the beginning of a new chapter.

cats.. err manners?

2008-04-24T18:48:00.003+08:00

lol guess what i saw on my way home todae? in the middle of the road at the carpark.. there were two cats, one male and one female and guess what they were doing? i leave it to your own imaginations to think what exactly happened.. lol first time see this things, quite de amusing though xD

hmm nothing much happened in school todae... still the exhaustive lessons that tempt me to go to sleep =DD haha think that time travel faster now leh.. maybe its my hallucination but lessons get past very fast nowadays.. lol as usual, my partner beside me is always sleeping hahaha..

these few days, so many things crop up... shld be abt one month left to pop le... then suddenly so many lame problems start popping up? do you'all want a happy pop? some are really those usual suspects that don't care abt anything except mug.. zzz ahhh i really hope to have a happy ending to my 4 years in npcc, a real memorable one.

zzz then tmrw will have to for aar after abt 5 months from camp. lol crap alr promised someone to go somewhere... zzz caught in the middle agn... walao i tot have no trg on friday de... sianz hard choice to made. which will i choose? but i alr promised... haiz. i hope you wouldn't be angry with me? =((

- you reap what you sow

SPF PICS

2008-04-22T18:52:00.002+08:00

its the first time im up loading photos lor... haha really treasured those moments... maybe last moments le.. damn funny terence the pic on a person called lim jun song derek... LOL hope you enjoy the pics.

ceremony....

2008-04-19T18:05:00.004+08:00

hmmm gonna talk abt yesterday first bah..

okay so yesterday was the spf ceremony bah... haha saw haojie... SI seh so qiang... haha and he is like damn tall from what he was when he in primary school. back to the point... was damn nervous... haha starting act like i very composed lor.. haiz but in the end, was overcome by my psychological barrier... walk up the stage... like literally whole body was trembling... didnt want to be the joke of the year lor... haha so in the end, passed my 5 secs of glory. after that was some photo montage, lol my pic become the one beside me the picture... zzz screwed lah.. then terence pic appear 2 times...zzzz sianz i tot i could see my own pic... nvr mind... cant do anything abt it also.

then after that went to down for reception... haha took alot of photos.. like frenzy cuz everybody's mood was damn high =DD... haha then suddenly mrs chew appear out of nowhere... haha like ceremony alr over lor... haha at least she came =) then frenzy photo taking agn.... nice one everybody! after that unit cheer... haha that ends off our joyous day. then when we were walking out of sch.. suddenly gt what olympics torch crap... i think started by ken.. then we leo, dt me and ken raced to the gate with a fake torch in our hands xD

kkay then talk abt today.... its some volleyball competition at dunman high.... we went in a relaxed mood... haha cuz we like thinking juz play for fun. woah we got past the first round cruising past vs 20-12.. haha didnt expect us to be so strong... then came the conspiracy... in the other semi finals match, the teams played 25 points... while we played 20!~! zz knocked out by bartely lor.. crap... then asked the dhnpcc people... then they say they also dont know =.= ahh nvm we tot we could still win 3rd... zz then when we tot it was 25 points, it became 20 agn!!! what the? zzz like tio scammed the feeling... nvr mind, a lose is a lose. nonetheless, it was a great job well done.

these days, i juz simply cannot be silent or emo in front of my frends.. dont knw why.. deep down my heart, i don't feel like talking... lol but i juz cannot simply dao them bah.. its juz not me in front of people. when i emo, people think i crazy.. lol >.< maybe it means nothing in your eyes, but nvr attain that thing means a great lot to me. no matter how hard im trying, the leaking hole in my heart can't be stop at the moment.

haha juz now got some incident, felt sourness... haha so like very weird feeling... haha nvr mind lah, juz abit sour only.. =))

-no matter how hard one try to glue back a broken object, the cracks will remain forever.

most unlucky day.

2008-04-17T17:42:00.002+08:00

yeah basically today was a damn sad day for me... i soaked some part of my little pillow juz now... yeah juz couldn't control my emotions any further.

to start things first... i juz want to say, i have already taken the first step. if you still don not want to forgive or extend your hand... i cannot do anything... so if you want to dao me, go ahead... i cant force you also what.. but at least i can give my self a vague smile and say 'well, at least i tried'... maybe you really dont want me as your frend, so be it. but what i want to say is, you will always be a great frend in my mind.

kkay after that, it was some volleyball trg whereby our team captain pangseh us.. dotz then have to go train ourselves lor... then went to buy a cup of grape juice or sth... then the yongjie, rammed the ball into me... and my whole cup spill. my whole pant is like soaked. yeah maybe due to the mixture of everything, i blew off. sorry yongjie for using you as a chu qi tong. =((

yeah before that incident came a terrible news. to me lah, personally. this time round, only 3 of our squad people will be getting the first class drill badge... cuz only they passed the thoery paper. they are namely, jason, ken and bryan... gratz anyway. so thats it. im now a DRILL INSTRUCTOR, without the 1ST CLASS DRILL BADGE. yeah im downright shit. shitty piece of asshole there tying to be a DI without the highest attainable drill badge. yeah fish it... so now what i muz get ready to face... is the mockery from people... those words like ' haha no 1st class, what kind of DI is this.' okay i will get prepared. maybe its a tradition bah... every batch will have one DI without 1st class.. but i broke the tradition maybe in some way, cuz im like the first SEC2DI without first class. yeah im not fit to be one, if you want to put it direct. ... the feeling now im experiencing is like the time when i didnt get promoted when i was sec2. yeah same old feeling.. but somehow, this hurts more now, cuz it is leaving a very great thorn in my heart... juz when i tot i could end my npcc life without any more regrets... maybe god wants to make fun of me bah... fine so be it. still want be DI, im not even fit to stand in front of anybody now. i am more like a lousy instructor forcing my cadets to have good drill standard when i am showing that i am not good in drills.

only two words are surfacing on my mind now: fuck it...

-maybe it was wrong right from the start

erm.........

2008-04-16T23:28:00.003+08:00

sometimes really cannot think of a title to put... haha so juz anyhow put lor.

these few days quite a few things happened... quite unpleasant... dont wish to elaborate on it anymore, cuz its partly my fault.. am i gonna lose such a great frend like this? shitty scenario to imagine being in one. i don't wish to give any more excuses le, i juz wanna say sorry. =( tts all.

okay basically today had 1st class drill test theory paper... lol i think i screw the whole paper le. like i left out 6 marks. then got some qns i check with others... lol all different de.. zzz good game. like some of the qns i bullshit de.. cannot figure out how can so many marks like 25 be awarded for one qns lor.. haiz nvr mind.. DI nvr get 1st class.. very throw face seh.. crap ah dont care liao. also no use now. its over.

shall not blog further, cuz i abit de no mood. partly becuz im sleepy bah. juz thinking what i have been hoping to achieve when i did those things.

- crying over spilled milk

Time Machine...

2008-04-13T17:22:00.003+08:00

time flies, isn't it... gonna blog about what happened these few days bah.

FRIDAY>>>
should be the last official trg for us le bah... cuz the rest of the days are bombarded by the cadets' mastery reviews and PNCO thingies. yeah kind of felt really emotional and depressed. maybe becuz i have not prepared to let go? or am i juz not being able to bear the pain of the partings? drills session.. some part of really very encouraging.. at least most of them are putting in the effort now bah.. tried to control my feelings ytd.. got some parts i nearly cried.. but well, i controlled it. don't know what will happen to me on the actual pop day which can be anytime soon. maybe this is another sad reality about being a squadleader bah.. cuz the kind of feeling.. you juz cannot bear to part. how i wish time can rewind... while i listen to 回到過去 by jay chou.. furthermore... pop also signifies that most of 29th batch is gonna part. the times where we played soccer and basketball like we give no shit to anyone.. where we were scolded and pumped together... where we supported one another in some way.. ahhh eveyone in the squad, braving together... maybe i should leave this part to the actual pop day bah.

then after that got store inspection by yan hao and yijun sir. erm... quite the lame... ask us what is the command for inspection.. then we said.. then they said we all wrong, then tell us to ask jiahan sir.. in wich jiahan sir said out what we said... >.<" lol dman crap... basically is getting sadisticed by them lor... shout until like your lungs are gonna burst anytime. maybe what they are saying is true and enlightening, but their way of putting it across it seriously wrong.

SATURDAY>>>
then came ytd... when we went to support the npap parade. which is like crap? initially, we offered to keep thier bags with us.. but they treated as if its their right for us to safekeep their bags.. lol crap. for your info, it was a privilege! zzzz and i really wonder if they have a watch? the gathering time was 3pm.. and we still have people strolling in at 3.30pm? ... but was very pleased with a RI cadet; he was really polite and respectful of us. really zai! so glad to see such a cadet now, when other cadets dont give a shit about others.

then was the npap parade.. lol we went there to stone for like 1 hr before the parade started. crap. but nvm... haha this year the turning out guard abit different... cuz there were more instruments! not like last year whereby we only had one la ba... haha this year parade dont knw.. abit not as grand as last year, abit not as smooth as lsat year... lol even the standard of the CIs dropped lah.. the contigent commander of the GOH was adjusting..! omg. haha but really feel very sorry for mr chen. cuz he was the AC of the area... and we had to hurry him back to school cuz he was the officer incharge of our bus. zzz sorry mr chen... he couldnt even have time to enjoy his food lah..

then on the bus back.. an incident that cuz so many of us to be enraged. there is this guangyang cadet is like so freaking disrespectful? treated the bus as if it was his? shouting like some mad dog with his frends and shouted like vulgarities? then we asked him to stop spamming his vulgarities. he said sorry very sarcastically... then suddenly he turned back and stood up, saying: erm if you want to complain, complain to mr yong, oc of guangyang.. my name is andy lau. lol i know your won;t believe this, but his name is really andy lau! LOL hahaha damm joke. he is like a coward, but still want to act gangster in front of his frends.... lol furthermore, he was frm NPCC leh.. omg and the 7 of us on baord the bus ytd were all staff sergeants, and what is he? cadet... then he still dare to take back like this.. really no medicine for him le. zzz spoilt our royal rumble mood haha.

- there is never a never-ending banquet

CHEM

2008-04-10T16:40:00.003+08:00

heylo, lol... seriously damn weird saying this word. anyway... tmrw is training. finally can go.. shit but need to do maths hw.. or else mrs tan dont let me go.. zzzz

have been wondering if its really that good to have subject teachers as form teachers. becuz often, for example, carpe diem or contact time periods will be somehow transformed into a chemistry lesson miraculously. dotz the freaking problem is, don't she feel sianz? everytime come in, then act until like nothing happened and just happily change the period to her own very subject. crap. maybe to her delight that she can have more time with us? but... WE DON'T for heaven sake. and you know what? one of the 'subject' chapter which is considerably impt, is given to us to self study?! what the...? if self study, have one teacher there for what? (i nvr said the ic i want hi!card i buy for me) lol erm yeah? omg and i cannot believe that im actually having olvls this year with such teachings lah. >.<" kkay, maybe she is really concern about us? but her method is wrong somehow.

yeah tmrw is maybe my last trg with my squad le. as in, cuz PNCO is coming real soon. and they still have exams somemore. yeah kind of feel sad, .... times really fly bah. i really think so. in an blink of an eye, its so near to pop le. so near to parting with my own squad and my batch. and my cadets. no more legalized times, fun times with 31st batch-29thbatch; no more chance to guide them on. it is life isn't it?

-time and tide wait for no one.

This is crap.

2008-04-09T22:28:00.002+08:00

hmm i just realize i havent been updating. lol so i officially will start reblogging now, cuz i changed my comp... now it has to depend on my mood xD

first thing first... gonna talk about CV 08. i juz feel that sometimes what you see on the surface does not mean what is the actual truth. its juz if you have been noticed. yeah so juz trying to say that: before flaring up and kpkbing us, you have to ponder if we are really the ones that shld be houndered at. zzz at times, i tihnk the upstairs are really lame; i do not know what is exactly going thru their brains. i really do not know what is the point of pointing out and suaning us about our mistakes when the whole freaking event is over? then say what best batch of ncos, you think we don't understand sarcasm? crap. think twice if you think you are really that zai. to me, people are considered zai only when they help others and share their zainess. (and i dont think playing chess while we are chionging is considered zai)

today went for spf briefing. we all thought that the briefing would be like damn long. but it turned out that it was only 5 slides. =.= then the rest of time is like waiting in details for your turn to get filmed by a camera... dotz when there are like 160 students? maybe thats the tradition for people to wait and stone and practically do nothing. maybe it trains out endurance and perserverance? LOL... then was pissed off by this lame officer i think. who ask me: did you iron your uniform? my reply was yes.. then she said: dont argue with me.... LOLOL... what the hell? am i arguing? i juz replied yes and she said i argued.. wtf lah, okay, maybe becuz im only a person with 3stripes and a crest on my shoulders? and she is like bigger than me.

i truely agree with what terence said: respect is earned, and not forced!!! having high powers doesnt mean what you do is always right.

Great.

2008-03-29T20:13:00.002+08:00

heylo everyone... <--- really retarded when i keep saying this phrase. lol anyway. yesterday was sports nite. and it nvr fail to make it rain so that we can go home early =D really wanted to see the race, cuz its our last year, but nvm. its juz too bad.

and somehow, yesterday i went to take yeomen. when i was supposed to slack in store. lol then let the sec3s come out and do pnco for a while. and the freaking A cadet came to piss me off AGAIN. freak. with his usual self of telling me what to do, or shall i say, doubting what i am doing? he said: sir, stop raining le, arent we supposed to go out and do yeoman? zzz for heaven's sake, if your are supposed to do yeoman, i will obviously get the instructions, what the hell. who is the nco here? told him that day after promo parade that he have to shut up, but somehow, he thinks i am singing or something? >.<"

one fine day, i am gonna explode, the time whereby elements of stress, pressure, frustrations and catalyst are all present--- trust me.

- push-ups or shut up

shit......

2008-03-27T22:10:00.002+08:00

heylo everyone, im here to blog becuz im lame comp can be used! =.=" dotz, yeah my freaking comp suddenly can on... lol so i using now lor haha so happy.

anyway, i want to apologize to Mr DT. i let him down today. he waited for me, i was dman surprised at first, but the surprise was a pleasant one. zz then the CV meeting didnt start on time, lol becuz terence was doing his homework.. lol crap. but i shldnt have gone to play soccer. i tot he wont mind, but. haiz. sorry cliff.

gonna blog abt yesterday, cuz i wanted to, but my mood swing comp didnt want. lol was freaking pissed off yesterday during ORT-aka- optional recreational trg. there is this one guy that is making my blood boil. everytime i get the ball, he will say something like: junwei sir, fall down! fall down! erm =.=? at first, it was okay, i tot he would stop it after a few times, but fish it. he seems oblivious at me being annoyed by it. keep on rattling on.... zz wish i can go up and juz shout STFU in his ears. LOL BUT I KNW I CANT. >.<"

yeah, and i saw the sec2s play. quite the arrogant, but nvm maybe im too lousy le. lol people may say tt we were like that when we were sec2s also. tts nonsense, cuz we dont even dare to talk back and argue with the sirs in the very first place. but now, haiz, nvm dont say le... say also no bloody use.

left 2 months left in npcc le. and i realize what is my objective liao- to put an end in their attitude problems. and i also found a very good way- as coach carter said, give me attitude, i give you push-ups. you shall determine your own fate; push-ups or shutup. simple as that. i swear to god that i am not gonna let this attitude shit deteriorate anymore.

- when you are thinking about doing something, think about the consequences first and not the enjoyment that you will be getting.

Lame comp.

2008-03-25T21:46:00.002+08:00

lol im back. haha this stupid comp that i am using is constantly giving me problems. like sometimes can on, sometimes cant? crap lah, still have to see its mood before i can use, illogical right? zzz

forget what to blog le... lol

mugging for prelim 2 shall start april end... muz enjoy until that day! sianz like one month left only.

- if you are happy with a tiny little tree, you will be elated to death when you see a forest.

Close call...?

2008-03-19T22:16:00.003+08:00

hmm gonna talk abt these 2 days bah.

erm my chem teacher seriously has no time sense. she can juz freaking dismiss you late and without any signs of doing so, what the hell, what is the 5 mins walking time and resting time for? crap then in the end, lessons after lessons drag on. i really do not knw what is the point? crap. shall go feed back unit sometime bah... zzz>.<" thne she keep hijacking people's lessons. teachers nvr come, she will be the first to come up, she think she enthu, but we are feeling sianz? give us a break man!

then today had trg... shall talk about the optional rt part bah. i really agree with clifton, why not juz stay and cherish the time we hav with left with one another? you see yongjie, last time we play soccer, he nvr join or enthu de, now? he almost is the first one to be on when you want to find someone to play soccer with. thats the spirit! and you can see how much he has improved. lol yeah, today played soccer as usual cuz the freaking basketball court is down. zzz kkay today i can say i really become a team player, i pass the ball damn often and not go for beautiful tricks that are quite difficult. it feels really good if you can trust your teammates and even more assist them in build up play. really the enjoyment is greater, and not you solo and solo, and only you are the one enjoying the game, tts not fair to them at all. so yeah, today scored one i think and assist 2. the 2 assists are very similar, lol or i can say is identical. the same route, frm the right flank down before crossing the ball across goal round the defender, all the striker had to do is to slot the ball home =D lol it was a really nice game =DD

got to go, my mum nagging like some.... kkay bye

- nothing is unsolvable, its juz hard you try

Why doesnt people know how to self-reflect?

2008-03-17T17:38:00.002+08:00

let me start with a random notice... for all 29th batch people... we are less than 3 months away from POP. its really very fast, its juz as we had juz taken over, and in a blink of an eye, we are poping really soon. haiz somehow or rather, i kind of feel sad, i really developed that kind of feeling alr. sianz but i knw still have some people among us that are gonna be so excited of pop, cuz they alr lost interest, or shall i say, enthuing about studies?

now back to the point, i think its really true about what i am mentioning on my above title. people simply doesnt self-reflect. kkay i am not targeting anybody but, you see... a very simple example- people don't promote to SSgt, then they suddenly turn emo and keep grumbling about why be enthu about npcc when i nvr promote? but think otherwise, you shld ask yourself, why you nvr promote in the first place. everything has a reason, its becuz of your own actions that you are losing that rank. with attitude comes rank, and not the other way round. everytime only think about like studies, and you still expect to get promoted? you have to ponder which one you want to sacrifice, since you have chosen one, stop grumbling about the other one. its the choice you made and there is no way back now. get on with life bah.

i also found out that tensions rise becuz people don't speak up what they hav in their minds. leading to 2 consequences- they bottle up their feelings and may juz blow off any time; the other party concerned continues to behave or be the way it is and nothing will be changed. thats a sad thing, buts its also the reality, not only juz in school im afraid.

haiz, feel sad ( not emo lol xD). crap crap, and my leg is giving me problems. my stupid left little toe, swollen like some... and its freaking painful. scared its some fracture, no! arghh i sitll want to play soccer de.

- it may be sad, but since its already reality, accept it and carry on with life.

Its Been a while...

2008-03-15T23:01:00.002+08:00

heylo everyone, im here today to update my rotten blog...

today had CV recee lor, finally experienced what is called power struggle... cuz the people, especially the NCOs, juz freaking dont care about you. give an example: i remember clearly that i said that no psp was allowed in the bus or at any point of time... then what do i get? Two squadleaders playing psp at the back... what we said are juz crap lah, cuz they freaking dont care... kkay i am not saying all of them.. cuz some of the NCOs really put in the effort, i can really see. its like wth? during Hike Recee i also nvr play psp while cycling lah.. crap i knw its not your freaking problem, but its really..........

yeah then after that played soccer.. erm can say today i had been totally off-form. people pass the ball to me, the ball juz slipped thru.. zz then my style of game all cannot be carried out. worst still, my right leg tio whacked by xavier, lol if he was wearing studs shoes then my leg will be gone.. >.< haiz then i was thinking about what some of them said lah, they said im a soloist. erm kkay i agree sometimes i really am, cuz i see an opening there and sometimes i cannot see anyone within my range to pass to... sianz i dont want to be a soloist, i want to be a team player! then another thing, juz now during the game, they were discussing everytime i touch therm ball, that i am gonna lose the ball. thats very discouraging and disheartening, i knw i sometimes not really that zai, but dont need say until like this mah... even my own teammates dont trust me, what can i say? shall go and reflect bah.. am i really one?

that day yongjie zham my little toe.. now still damn pain and blue-black.. sianz walk also pain... zzz but i am gonna train my skills back.. i believe i can.

- what i need is heartfelt encouragement, and not fake applause

Psychological Barriers Everywhere..

2008-03-08T18:19:00.004+08:00

hmmm let me talk about today 1st... erm went to pulua ubin today for some ATF/HRC course lah... erm early in the morning... there was only 14 people that came... erm >.< its damn freaking obvious that people pon lah... wad the? so what if we had already get gold... so what if its not our uopa anymore? zzz they had been overcome by psychological barriers lah.. though maybe one or two may be real...

haha on the way to the campsite... i kept spamming them with my idealogy lor... thats the main reason why they had been enlightened and are able to carry on with the activities... haiz, sianz i should be more humble xD haha basically had 5 main activites- ARC, PP, DD, T, FF. haha dont ask me what is that cuz i dont knw it myself xD but it was damn fun... the FF was damn thrilling.. only some parts of it scary only... like the part whereby we had to climb up the building that is like 10 storeys high?

lol then after lunch went to attempt the ARC.. which is some obstacles you had to go through that are in mid air... zzz i was like one of the first few people to went up.. then i became the last few to come down.. lol cuz i was overcome by my own psychological barrier.. haiz, what a lousy example im setting to my trainees LOL. yeah managed to complete the stupid ARC. nearly few off the rope due to the stupidity of my fellow rope man, leonard lim jing jie... who instead of helping me with the ladder (FOR RESCUE), he rammed the whole ladder onto the rope that i was walking on... =.="

overall rating is 3.5/5! yeah was generally fun except for the fact that we were all sunburnt.

now about yesterday. so it was muster parade. we were really lucky cuz the weather threatened at several occasions that it was gonna rain by allowing a few drops of water droplets to reach the earth... yeah but in the end, there weather was perfect! wootz, so did my job as 2nd PC lor, quite fun bah.. holding the drill cane is not as easy as it seems now =( but anyway, i was promoted to the rank of SSGT! really damn shuang... same old phrase- congratz to all that promote, jiayou to those that didnt.

then after that siming sir brief us about spf badge, the badge that will give you 5 CCA points... argh muz get it! haiz, then after that darius sir talked to me, i realized how 失败 i am as a Drill Instructor, cuz even an officer can make a remark like that: FYI, officers usually dont make comments.. zzzz >.< muz pia until i pop...

- banished into a place of complete darkness when i sense a glimmer of hope

MUSTER PARADE TMRW!

2008-03-06T20:16:00.002+08:00

im nervous, really nervous about tmrw... cuz i want get a new rank that has three stripes and a crest on it.... im nervous becuz im the 2nd PC and i do not want to screw up everybody parade... im nervous becuz i dont want to stay as three stripes.

I WANT GET MY SSGT!
I WANT GET MY SSGT!
I WANT GET MY SSGT!
I WANT GET MY SSGT!
I WANT GET MY SSGT!
I WANT GET MY SSGT!
I WANT GET MY SSGT!

thats the only tot on my mind now... jiayou everyone!

- the higher you get, the harder your fall?

Hmmm

2008-03-03T19:25:00.002+08:00

hmmm after pondering about what other people said...

i have come to a conclusion: it may not crumble just as yet... have a conversation with weesiong sir on msn one day... he told me that: once upon a time, batches of seniors always thought that the unit will crumble under the juniors hands... its juz like a cycle... being pass down continuously. so i shall not give up hope! last time, our seniors also think that the unit will die in our hands.. but i dont think the unit is dying in our hands.. so i now take back my words! i believe that as long as there is determination, nothing is impossible, as usual, its juz the psychological barrier making trouble..

after reading yiherng's blog... i really agree with one thing- somehow the zai ones lah, are quite de selfish.. all becuz they think they are zai, thats why the carry those colored spectacles when they look at others, if you think you are zai, help those around that are not, make them as zai or even more zai than you... by then you can call yourself zai.

- is it too late to apologize and start afresh?

The Past

2008-03-01T22:31:00.003+08:00

i am sure many of you will agree with my paragraphs later...

yeah juz now basically slack throughout the whole afternoon cuz i dont feel like doing things xD was lying on the bed when i began to think about my sec2 life... hmmm those npcc days... when i like pon almost every trg; giving stupid reasons like muscleaches when i am perfectly fine. now i can understand how the sirs feel at that time, how frustrated they are by my absence... cuz it will lead to alot of problems. 2nd thing i thought of is the future of uniformed grps.. which i discussed with alot of other ugs: what is uniformed grps going to become in cat high? seeing the cadets nowadays, make me sianz... like to talk back; like to argue; like to protest so much... zzz if like this, what is the difference between cat high ugs and other lousy schools' ugs? and it really is disheartening to all the different sections leaders now.. cuz the sad reality in front of us is that uniformed groups that include ncc air, ncc land, npcc are gonna crash frm the reputation and standard that we behold now... i really dont want to accept this, but sometimes... things really made me feel this way.. so i can really understand Bryan of his mindset to become a CI.. arghhh i want to change this.. but it always needs two hands to clap.

- waving aimlessly in the air with one hand in an attempt to make a clap sound

1st Class Drill Test

2008-02-29T22:52:00.002+08:00

erm basically today was my first class drill test, no big deal lah... its juz first class! lol xD anyway.... erm i think generally still okay cuz i supposingly nvr screw up any parts except my coordination with ken... lol ask him go practise timing with me, he dont want... then in the end =.= lol haha, was lucky to get mr daniel yong to be my reviewing officer... lol at least he walk at a regular and slow pace for us to catch up lah... shiok!

next week is muster parade... lol really will be pissed off when i see those undeserving people getting their ranks lah... crap.. really feel unrespected by the decision made by upstairs... zzz argh what to do? its already been set and we cannot do anything about it... and after muster parade is really going to be a long debrief man... cuz there are so many persons to talk to one-on-one... lol

oh yah... sorry jasper.. erm i think he hurt his mouth when he tripped and fell becuz of my tackle... really sorry... it wasn't intentional at all.. =/

i feel that being a drill instructor isn't easy as it seems now... instilling a sense of passion for drills in them is like forcing a giant to do what he does not want to do... lol last time, we do not even dare to question and talk back at our sirs... but now leh, tell them do something, like feeding them poison like that; must ask here ask there de... zzz seeing their unenthu faces about drills during drill sessions really hurt me alot... hurt me big time.. can really see that they dont like drills at all; okay maybe some like but.... haiz nvm....

- stepping on a journey of never-returning

1st class drill test tmrw...

2008-02-28T17:32:00.002+08:00

lol i cannot believe it man... tmrw is my first class drill test! when i do not even have enough practise... and if im not wrong... its my first time taking a parade also... crap sianz... first chance to take parade= test le... sianz! i dont want to screw up! i dont want to be mocked at!

arghhh lets not waste time le... shall go and polish my uniform parts

- when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.

Subordinates

2008-02-27T19:43:00.002+08:00

well, juz came back frm wednesday napfa training... yeah quite a few things happened today...

first thing, i juz realized, or shall i say, juz awoken frm my dreams to find out that we are all in all just subordinates.( i hope i spell it correctly)... yeah back to the point, we are just appointed to a certain name... just like a puppet emperor... cuz OUR FREAKING DECISIONS DONT COUNT A SHIT to our upstairs-aka-boss... they can just bloody overwrite our decisions without discussing or even mentioning it to us lah.. crap.. i feel that at least have the courtesy to seek and tell us the reasons for certains actions.. if not, WHAT ARE WE FOR? for show? to pose in front of a group of people? to pose for a photoshoot? wth... and the freaking problem is: what for give somebodies things they do not deserve just to benefit on the long run, and pull down the whole organization standard and reputation... *puke* fine, i should have right from the start admited the sad reality that we are just subordinates, people with no power and should just follow what is given; be it right or wrong...

on a lighter note, today had optional RT! woah finally, the SEC2s join us! so pleasing to see quite a lot of them playing! its really heartwarming... haha the NCOs run out of luck today, all the one-on-one scenarions all turn into either wide shots or pile driver... lol haha hope to have more of this kind of rt next time!

anyway, my legs damn tired now... haha later maybe going to sleep 1st, then tmrw morning wake up do hw! hahaha yeah! perfect plan.

- pointless attempting to kill a giant with bare fists

im back...

2008-02-25T19:22:00.002+08:00

erm okay, i have not been blogging or coming online these few days cuz my computer is like crazy? sometimes can on somtimes cant... lol but who cares, let fate decides bah. yeah so im back... now to blog!

sum up these few days bah... oh yah got back my SS and History paper... erm i think thats the papers that were most well done bah... finally!

SS- 24/25.... 96/100 A1
History 23/25.... 92/100 A1

hooray! finally can get a high A1..

erm i think i forgotten what to blog about le... so when i remember, i will blog about it bah xD

- looking at the bright side that seems so dark

Parents are bullshit

2008-02-17T19:07:00.002+08:00

i dont knw if all of you agree with me, but i am very sure most of you will agree that parents are sometimes really bullshit...

i juz had a heated arguement with my mother... and it really set me offf... you know what they say? "you never even study, how can you expect to get good results?" what the hell? its either they had been blind during my mugging times or they are just pure retarded... they just cannot see you mugging? or should i say, i had been sitting in front of the table with loads of books, but daydreaming? crap leh, do they even know how to encourage and not just suan and suan and pushing you off the cliff? they just dont seem to realize that they are drilling a hole into our hearts...

arghh crap... im gonna heck care them le, let them think what they want. They say i slack and nvr study, so be it, im not gonna mug anymore... forget it... mug so hard for what... they only care about the end results that you get... act as if they care, they only care about results lah..

- has my home become only a place to rest?

I Knew It....

2008-02-16T22:14:00.002+08:00

hello everyone <----- sounds like bryan tan lol...

haha anyway... as i predicted yesterday... i flunked my HCL prelims... overall score is 51! really cant imagine that i can fail my paper2. really sianz leh... i really feel i dont deserve 51 lah.... C6 leh... crap; utter crap. how i wish results can be calculated based on the amount of effort and mugging you put in.. but.. haiz nothing to say...

and what do your parents say? they just rattle off like its all your fault and you never put in any effort? wahlao eh... you think i feel happy and excited when i get those crappy marks? i also feel sad, i feel like crying.. but they just wont let you off and keep on scolding and scolding.. they juz dont care about your emotions and feelings.. or they juz dont show it, when you need it the most... the government and school keep emphasizing on what its the process that counts; but in the end, the parents and teachers.. its the results that they care about... no matter how hard you try, results not there = nvr try at all...

- standing all alone to withstand the cold and harsh winter

Nothing Seems to go right.

2008-02-15T23:22:00.003+08:00

hmmm today was freakingly fulll of crap... alot of disheartening things happened.

First thing first, today got back my reviewed physics; and guess what happened, i was deducted another 2 more marks becuz of dont knw what crap, deducting 2 marks ffrom my already very little marks, so now become 23... what the hell, might was well juz fail me lah.. then those with high marks, they dont minus a single shit lah... after that gave back my geog paper... what can i say? 15.5/25. which is 62... bullshit... what the hell i dont knw why? really. you juz bloody mug and mug and mug... but you still get this kind of results. it juz simply doesnt pay off? and those that supposingly dont care about studies at all... they get higher than u!

hoped that training was gonna brighten up my day lah... i have always hoped so... but.. erm it turned out otherwise. the sec2s shouted softer than the sec1s leh, when they have 29 men, maybe they juz dont like and dont want to come for training bah.. thats what i see frm their eyes and faces... i really hope im wrong, but sometimes, things really dont go according to people's wishes. then there was another thing that set me off... when i added another 10 or 20 pushups WITH A VERY VALID REASON, they shouted walao like damn loudly.. what the heck is this? ABCD all forget le ah? is this the kind of respect that shld be shown to a NCO? i really dont knw what is becoming of this unit leh.. and worst still, people have no intergrity to own up also knwn as, no balls; have the audacity to say, come on, admit it!

hate it when people of the same squad quarrel. there is one point i want to say- dont always target the same guy leh, he may be very irritating or freaking, but think about this, if everybody keeps on targeting him; how is he gonna change without your help? work together leh, this kind of small little things can really test your bond. one year le in this CCA le........

kkay tmrw is the checking of olvl hcl paper for prelim 1... i dare not have any expectations; cuz the higher your hopes, the bigger your fall... everytime very confident, then in the end those crap results.. it really throw your down to the bottom... really dejecting; thats all i can say.

- does the truth always hurts?